Help, I Hate the Way My Boyfriend Kisses!

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

How do tell your boyfriend you don’t like the way he kisses without hurting his feelings. He’s great in every other way, and I love him, but this one thing is such a bummer: he’s all tongue and jabbing and slobber. I’m starting to really hate it. I know it’s a small thing but I’m starting to think of it as a deal breaker, which is such a shame. Is there a way to get him to change his ways without crushing his ego?

— Kiss Off

What should or can K.O. do?
Let her know in the comments below!


  1. I agree with bklynbug and I definitely think you can tell him in a sexy way. Guys like to hear a women take charge and tell them what the she wants in the bedroom, and I don’t think kissing is any different. Show him what you want and he won’t even realize he was doing anything wrong to begin with!

  2. I agree with Ralphie, but you don’t necessarily need to talk right away. Make a game of it. When he comes on full steam, back him off a bit. Tell him to slow down; give him gentle, teasing kisses. Every time he reverts to slobber-boy tell him no, you want it this way – then show him. If all goes well it should lead to a very hot encounter. Then you can have the convo, tell him it’s much hotter for you your way. Any BF worth his salt will be happy for the “lesson”. If his ego gets crushed by this, then dump the child and go find a man.

  3. If you’re not willing to talk to him about it, it is not going to change. You could start off by telling him that you prefer to be kissed this way instead of that way, and show him how. You could even offer him sessions where the two of you can practice. Keep in mind that while you are worried about crushing his ego, think about how he will feel when you end the relationship because you hate kissing him altogether.

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