KEGEL WEEK: An Introduction to Your Pelvic Floor Muscles (Meet Mr. Kegel)


The following is excerpted from our first sex manual, The Big Bang:

We don’t care if you’ve never been to a gym in your life; you simply must work out your pelvic muscles if you want to consider yourself sexually fit. Don’t worry, you won’t break a sweat. You can even start working them while reading this chapter. In fact, please do.

There are several muslces in the perineal group, but two that stand out as MVPs. The pubococcygeus muscle (PC for short) runs along the pelvic floor, from the pubic bone to the coccyx (or tailbone), in both women and men. Just above it is the bulbocavernosus muscle.  This one surrounds the urethra, perineum, and anus in an elegant figure eight. Together, they contract involuntarily during the big O; you contract them voluntarily when you don’t want to piss your pants. (When people talk about pelvic muscles, they usually just single out the PC — but these muscles are team players.)

Until the ’40s, the pelvic muscles’ supporting role in sex went largely unrecognized — and then along came Dr. Arnold Kegel, an L.A. ObGyn. Mr. Kegel prescribed a course of pelvic muscle exercises (see the work-out programs below) to a group of women who were suffering from incontinence. After they began shaping up, not only did their urinary control return, but they noticed a rather serendipitous side effect (clever girls!): Their sex lives took a turn for the ecstatic. Because the pelvic muscles surround the vagina, strengthening them means stronger orgasms — or maybe just orgasms, period. The exercises have been known as “kegels” ever since (though some docs may refer to them as pelvic muscle strengthening exercises, or pelvic floor exercises — neither of which rolls off the tongue quite like “kegels”). Judy Blume’s Margaret should have given up those futile bust exercises for something that really would have paid off later.

But kegels aren’t just for chicks. While well-toned pelvic muscles won’t take a man quite as far, they may still get him to the land of stronger erections, greater stamina, further spurts, and more intense O’s (your mileage may vary). Plus, once your pelvic muscles are all buff, you can make your penis bounce and jiggle — your own stupid pet trick — which could cheer up a loved one after a tough day at the office. And making your muscles your love-slaves is the first step toward injaculation and multiple male orgasms (assuming you want to chase those particular fairytales).

Benefits that the whole family can enjoy include increased blood flow down there (which just feels good) and muscles that are better able to experience and transmit sensation. Plus, because the bulbocavernosus loops around the anus, learning how to relax it can make ass play as fun as the benevolent sex gods intended it to be. We know what you’re thinking: Where have we been all your life? That doesn’t matter; we’re here now.