My Man Won’t Show Affection in Public

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little more than a year now and we are extremely affectionate with one another. Only behind closed doors though. He doesn’t even really act like we’re together when we’re in public. It’s frustrating. I’ll hang out with him and his friends, but he doesn’t really seem like he’s comfortable with mine. I’m not sure what I should do. It gets awkward at times with him and my friends, he doesn’t notice it, but my friends do. I also just want to act like a normal couple in public. I don’t mean PDA, just not act like we’re just friends.

— Friend Zoney

What can F.Z. do?
Let her know in the comments below!


  1. I think more people haven’t answered this because it’s too easy. He likes having sex with you, but doesn’t want other folks to think you’re a couple. He’s getting what he wants and is stringing you along, disregarding your needs. Don’t bother trying to bring him around; it’s not worth it. You deserve someone who respects you from the get-go.

  2. I didn’t see anything in your letter about talking to him. First obvious question -have you told him this bothers you? What did he say? As a great other website I read says “use your words.” It’s also helpful for you to have some idea what your ideal outcome is-do you want to kiss when in public? Hold hands? Have him turn and talk with you not his buddies? He may not be comfortable with everything you want, but having a more specific idea than “not act like we’re just friends” will help you ask for what you want. Nothing is guaranteed, but a good guy will at least be willing to have the conversation and engage with you.

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