Poll: What Are Your Instant Orgasm Killers?

Imagine you’re on the uphill path to physical bliss, whether traveling alone or with a partner…you’re almost at the edge of that climactic cliff! We want to know what it would take to trip you up, to send you falling backwards down the hill, never to see that potential orgasm again (at least not in this session). A phone call, a phone call from your mother, a pet staring at you, hearing your kids in the other room, your partner suddenly attempting dirty talk…and failing, an uncontrollable thought about some life stress, the doorbell, an ill-timed toot….? We want specifics! Not only the hypothetical (what you imagine would be a definite deal breaker), but also anything that has actually stalled your O-engine in the past.

Leave your orgasm killers in the comments section below!


  1. When a guy is too quiet. i dont need anything loud, but if he’s quiet, I start to wonder what I’m doing wrong…

  2. Umm ,ya I wish I could say that the sex was great and that I had a orgasim all the time but that doesn’t seem to happen at all anymore , I may get really close or it starts and then it happens , I don’t know if it is my boyfriend for the fact that he just lays there and does nothing or he moves , or that I feel rushed bc half the time I feel he doesn’t want to have sex at all

  3. Orgasm? What’s that? I love my boyfriend very much, but, he comes so early on that i’m left hanging. Receiving oral sex ahead of time would sure get me that orgasm, but he doesn’t even do that! I NEVER orgasm, because as long as he gets his, it seems to not bother him that i don’t get mine! Totally ridiculous!

  4. Someone I was with for a LONG time developed a habit of saying “You know what would beeeeeee (pause) different?” rather than just saying what he’d like or making suggestions. One time I said “Why don’t you just TELL me!” When he did, and it was something I had no problem with, I said “Why didn’t you just say that?” He said “I didn’t know how you’d react.” “Better than this, I’d imagine.”

    Sadly, that conversation didn’t make him stop asking “You know what would beeeeeee (pause) different?” and it just killed the mood every time.

  5. When my partner looks like he’d clearly prefer another position but instead of saying something he’s just looking bored. A lack of enthusiasm on my partner’s side totally kills it for me. Sometimes the only position that will do it for me is one that isn’t particularly nice for him. I appreciate that he’s hanging on for my sake, he has to look like he’s really enjoying himself or I’m not going to either.

    Also, checking on the status of my orgasm. Asking if I’m enjoying something is fine, but any questions about how close I am totally kill it.

  6. “Less than flattering” commentary on my appearance – once had a guy try to squeeze a blackhead on my shoulder (it was a *freckle*), another who while we were doggy-style said “damn, your belly’s a swinger!”

  7. My orgasm killer is when one of my brothers come pounding on the door over something stupid.

  8. when my partner changes rhythm,or we both get out of rhythm with one another.thatz the worst for me

  9. “Nothing we say right now counts, but I love you so much.”

    And I was done. For days afterward.

  10. It kills my orgasm when a guy is too nervous and focused on getting me off as the end goal. It often results in the guy constantly changing positions and not just focusing on the moment. One of the better nights of sex I had was when a guy said “I’m just playing right now – don’t worry about coming right away” I really liked the idea of sensual play without being stressed out and hyperfocused on orgasms (of course, I did orgasm though after that!)

  11. When I’m alone I’m very focused… allthough this one time a spider actually fell down on my face as I was… you know, nearing the top of the hill, as it were. The spider died with my climax.

    With a partner I sometimes don’t come at all cause I think about how much faster I would have been doing it myself, or stress out because I’m taking ages and he must be getting bored, so it will just keep taking ages… Oh dear.

  12. If I think about something unrelated when I am close to the edge then I just lose momentum. This could be anything from remembering I need to return a call to worrying about what is for dinner.

  13. When something goes wrong with the music.

    Like the CD player starts skipping or the speed varies and it’s all sour notes.

    Don’t know why, but it’s a real dick-wilter for me.

  14. I have a few…
    Phone calls (always put phones on silent first), hearing roommates upstairs (although that can, and has, gone either way), feeling frustrated with myself for just not getting there quick enough and annoying intrusive thoughts (i.e. stress about work and life in general).
    Oh and a big one, being told to keep it down a bit or knowing that I can’t be as loud as I need to be. I concentrate too much on keeping quiet that I lose everything.

    But really, these things are only a bother if there hasn’t been enough foreplay. If I’m really riled up, not much can stop me… 😉

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