Quickie Advice: How Can I Get into Roleplay?

Lelo’s French Maid ensemble

Last week, we were on Kiss FM in Toledo promoting 150 Shades of Play and fielding listeners’ questions. There were some good ones, so we wanted to share them here on EMandLO.com this week. Each day we’re featuring a quick question with some lightning advice from yours truly. Today’s question:

I don’t think I could be into role play, but I want to be…how do I start something like that with my boyfriend?

Three quick tips for ya!

  1. Blindfold your partner. It’s way easier to get into character when you don’t have to think about how silly you look in that nurse’s outfit/dog collar. Or take it in turns wearing the blindfold while you’re roleplaying together. You’d be amazed how freeing it is.
  2. Get in costume. You might be tempted to skip accessories, wigs, costumes, etc., and just try roleplaying in bed one night in your jammies. This might seem less intimidating and less forced or silly. And if that works for you, great! But you might also find that getting into costume together — even if it’s just picking out a wig or a mask or new lingerie for each other — really helps the roleplaying flow more naturally. Hey, even if you never utter a word once you’ve got that wig on, you’ll probably still act a little differently during the sex, and isn’t that the whole point?
  3. Read erotica together in bed. This will give you ideas for characters and scenarios — and will help get you in that mindset a little more naturally than saying, “Nurse, does this look infected?” (though sometimes that can work, too). We also highly recommend (of course we do!) browsing our new book in bed together for saucy ideas and roleplaying inspiration: 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink.