Sexy World Cup Haiku Winners

As of pub time, we have no idea who will win the Germany vs Argentina final today (our guess: Germany; our hope: Argentina), but we do know who’s the winner in our LELO sexy World Cup haiku contest! You guys proved that sex toys and the World Cup go together like Suarez and animal behavior (think he’s a biter in bed?!).

As we reported here recently, men account for four of every five sex toy transactions at LELO.com in the week before a big sporting event; normally their transactions are split 50-50, men-women. Thank you to all our contestants who did their best to keep this World Cup sexed up! Without further ado, here is the lucky winner, who scores $200 to spend on the LELO swage of her choice…


Neymar on the brain,
My LELO in bed with me
That’s a golazo!
— Katie R.


A sports bar daydream
The Adidas Brazuca
Looks like my LELO
— Dave W.


Two hours of running
Footballers have stamina
ISLA lasts longer
— Dave W.

Playing on the field.
Running, panting, and sweating.
Winning with a goal.
— Molly M.

The ball and the field.
Take full control of Lyla.
You have possession.
— Molly M.

Hands are not allowed
In World Cup soccer, but are
Encouraged in bed!
— Mark

Don’t commit a foul,
Lest you feel the wrong end of
A penalty kick.
— Mark

Just like orgasms,
Multiples are pretty fun:
Goal goal goal goal goal!
— Mark

Endurance is key
In soccer and the bedroom.
Let LELO assist!
— Mark

They’re not just for kicks.
You’ll be playing extra time:
LELO Luna Beads.
— Mark

With LELO Ida,
You’ll be a FIFA World Champ
Scoring in the box.
— Mark

And a nod to reader Sand, who misunderstood the instructions — 5-7-5 refers to syllables, not word count — but who still wrote an entertaining poem. Better luck next time!

Ora the pitch, come Klose
Liv for football, Lelo making me Mona
Faster Soraya, leaving me Messi!
— Sand