Slutty Pirate Panties a New Low for Our Nation


If you hadn’t guessed yet, slutty Halloween costumes are a bit of a pet issue of ours, especially — okay, mostly — Em’s. Em thinks Halloween turns the country into a nation of Hooters waitresses; Lo thinks that if a fully grown woman wants to use the spooky holiday to embrace her inner exhibitionist, she should go for it (so long as she doesn’t bring her 7-year-old daughter along for the ride). But even Lo was appalled at the selection of available women’s outfits at the local costume shop this year — it was damn near impossible to find a packaged vampire or ghost number that didn’t require at least one tit to be hanging out. Take this photo we snapped there, of a slutty pirate outfit: the packaging helpfully explains that the costume includes (1) hat, (2) dress, (3) panty. Leaving aside for a second how gross the word “panty” is in the singular — seriously, pirate panties? We believe we have reached a new low point. The costume doesn’t come with those boots, however — we guess they figure that every woman just happens to have a pair of thigh-high black latex lace-up boots in the back of her closet. Anyway, Happy Halloween, folks! And here’s an awesome ad from the Girls Costume Warehouse to lead you into the spooky weekend. Sexy jar of mustard, aw yeah.


  1. Dear “Your Pathetic”,

    One of my favorite t-shirts ever is one that says “Your retarded.” Sadly, I’m guessing you wouldn’t get the joke.

    Check this out.

    The rest of YOUR grammar and spelling are probably beyond help, but you might be able to resolve the your/you’re issue with a little practice. YOU’RE making an ass out of YOURself in the meantime.

  2. You people have nothing better to do than complain about women that are better looking than you and don’t have issues? This costume does not even show cleavege! I’ll give you pany in the singular since it is not a word. The rest. get a life!

  3. I don’t care that there are sexy costumes but I am slightly disturbed by the women who wear them to very inappropriate functions. Save the sexy pirate costume for the adult party Halloween night and not when you are out trick or treating with the kids or to work.

    It’s sadder that it’s almost impossible to find a non-sexy costume. If I choose to keep the boobs in and my butt cheeks covered I will have no luck in a costume shop. The Girls Costume Warehouse video is a perfect example! It took my boyfriend and I weeks to come up with and find my costume this year because I was going to a party for my graduate school program and wanted my classmates to still look at me with some respect on Monday (meaning toning down the sexy while still having fun). It’d be great if there were more costumes that didn’t double as a stripper’s uniform the other 364 days of the year!

  4. Halloween is full of mixed messages, ambiguity and treading a line between acceptable and unacceptable.

    In the UK, where trick and treating is fairly new, parents are aghast that we teach kids not accept candy from strangers, and then devote a night to undoing all we have taught.

    I’ve heard religious folk criticize Halloween for celebration of the occult, being disrespectful of death, and bullying people who don’t treat us.

    So a little sexiness seems somewhat mild to me. It’s not an invitation to sex. We should accept Halloween for what it’s become, a bit of commercialised fun.

  5. 1. Our rant isn’t new either; we break it out every year. This just happens to be the first time we had an iPhone with us when we saw a really good example.

    2. That actually makes it worse. Forget the pirate panties; slutty pirate stockings are a new low for our nation.

  6. Just wanted to clarify on a couple of points here:
    1. This isn’t a new costume; it’s been out since at least last year, if not earlier than that.

    2. Those aren’t thigh high black latex lace-up boots; they’re stockings that go with the costume that happen to be sold seperately.

    I’m all for slutty costumes, myself, but the ones you make yourself are much cooler than the crappy ones you by.

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