Straight Guys: How to Respond to Being Hit On by a Woman

photo via Flickr

A note to straight men: We’re constantly hearing you guys complain that you still have to do almost all of the pick-up leg-work. But then when a woman does attempt to hit on you in a bar, a lot of you turn around and call her “desperate” — even in 2014! (Er, who made off with your self-esteem, anyway?)

Admittedly, you don’t get hit on nearly as often as straight gals do, so you don’t have nearly as much practice at (politely) rejecting an unwelcome advance. Which means that when a brave lady does attempt to buy you a drink or engage you in conversation, you have a tendency to be awkward and weird about it. But what’s so “desperate” about knowing what you want and going for it? She shouldn’t be made to feel like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down just because she asked you to dance. It’s not like she’s asking you to bear her children. You never know, she may actually just want to use you for sex. So be nice to the women trying to even the playing field!

Oh, and ladies? Keep asking! And try not to take it personally if a guy is a douche when you ask him how he likes his eggs in the morning. He’s just had less practice than you.



  1. A lot of younger women these days feel more comfortable being sexually assertive. Maybe, since you’ve been around since dirt, you’re out of their dating age range. Or maybe you just exude too much negative energy to be approachable. Just because it’s never happened to you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

  2. Publishing fairy tales now? Never in my life have I been hit upon by a woman – and I’ve been around since dirt.

    1. I was hit on last night at a sports bar. Technically it was TopGolf – a driving range golf sports entertainment complex – playing alone to blow off some steam after a fight with the wife. I’m married with kids 39 and far from my “fit and decent looking” days.

      So when a hostess walks up and tells me ” the lady at the bar would like to buy you a beer” I was taken aback. I was pretty quick on my feet and said, ” well I am flattered but I’m married… Under my golf glove is a ring and I guess it isn’t fair that she couldn’t see that… Tell her ‘thank you’ though.”

      I tried to go back to my golf game but it was a little unnerving. I was feeling pretty masculine and then cynical … I wondered ” has my wife hired a private investigator to see if I’m out cheating on her? … Are there prostitutes at TopGolf? Is that lady gonna follow me to my 12 year old mini-van and rape me? ”

      I laughed at all of these ridiculous notions and just said alloud puffing my chest out an teeing up another ball , “This is 2016 and I still got it!” Then I shanked my drive into the net 200 yards to the right and cussed at the borrowed club like no one was looking. But if she was still eyeing me then she would be glad she didn’t have to waste her $5 on a nutjob who takes a golf game a little too seriosuly.

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