Wise Guys: Do Men Appreciate a Helping Hand?

handjobphoto by permanently scatterbrained

Advice from four of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: I’ve heard that it’s not worth giving a guy a handjob because he can just do it better himself. Is that true?

Straight Married Guy (Jamie): Sadly, yes.  But I think the problem is just one of misconception on the part of most women.  In my opinion many women think, perhaps due to their lovers’ penchant for hard and fast intercourse, that a handjob needs to be a vigorous yank-a-thon.  Ladies, please, you’re not trying to inflate a bicycle tire here!  Despite popular opinion, the penis is a very sensitive organ.  And, with improper handling, and without lubrication, it can chafe.  The truth is, we’re just really good at it all by ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, we love it when you touch us and we appreciate the thought but, beyond a little foreplay grabby-grab, leave the heavy lifting to the professionals.

Straight Single Guy (Chris): The handjob is the single most underrated and underused sexual skill in the mix. I suppose it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy, that guys don’t like handjobs because they are generally bad, and girls don’t give them because guys don’t like them, so they never get any better at them. Well, I for one protest. A good, thorough, properly lubed, and sufficiently practiced handjob can be an amazing and deeply fulfilling sexual experience.

Let me be somewhat specific while trying not to be too crude. First of all, you have a range of options of position and technique, grip, pressure, lubricant, and speed. In my opinion, far more than with any other “technique.” You have significantly more control, drawing out the orgasm and the, how shall I put it, location of completion? All of the best blowjobs involve significant participation of the hands, so why would anyone believe the hands aren’t a good option on their own?

Please, please ignore the naysayers and their, “If I wanted a handjob, I’d give it to myself.” Practice, practice, practice, and cultivate this skill. Feel free to practice on me if you need to…

Just please consider the following:
1. Never, ever, ever do it dry, under any circumstances.
2. Consider aiming at yourself (anywhere, but some places are better than others) rather than at our belly buttons.
3. Try from behind and underneath. Trust me.
4. Control it. Bring it to the edge and back again. And again.
5. Don’t forget the surrounding area.

Straight Single Guy #2 (Joe): Absolutely, unequivocally, 100% NOT TRUE!  Any guy would much rather have a handjob from you than from himself. First of all, guys do it by themselves ALL the time, so having you do it makes it a special treat. Imagine running your fingers lightly over your own skin: it feels nice.  Now imagine someone you are attracted to doing it.  Much better, eh?  The physical act might be identical, but having someone else’s body heat / touch / scent / sounds / smile there and then not knowing exactly what they’re going to do adds so much more to it.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Nothing could be further from the truth, because there is nothing better than having someone do your work for you. While it’s true that guys can technically give themselves better handjobs than anyone else, it’s the thought — and effort — that counts. Gay guys don’t have a huge advantage over women here either: while having a dick does give you some insight into what works and what doesn’t, every guy is different and what blows my load may not get my man off. Personally I like a nice handjob to lead to a great blowjob, but if that’s not in the cards for whatever reason, a good handjob is wonderfully satisfying.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Jamie, a film editor in NY, our Straight Single Guy #1 is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. I, as a female, can gladly say that guys have never told me “no thanks, i’m better at it anyways” (maybe that’s because they always knew that if they did, when it came time for anything fun for them i’d say “No thanks! i’m better at it anyways!” to them too. out of spite.)

    but seriously, someone elses hands always feel better, and it’s not THAT hard to teach a girl to give a decent hand job. i mean really. 15 year olds learn how to do it.

  2. I disagree with Jamie

    The soft touch of a female is so much better than my own – it is indescribable. The most sensitive part of my body is around and below my testicles. But – like being tickled – the feeling of someone else touching me there is totally different than my own touch – no matter how i were to do it.

    It is not about getting off quickly (for me anyway). It is about pure pleasure of the feeling of being touched. Take your time. (I find it is not unlike how my wife likes to be touched – softly, erotically, unpredictably)


  3. totally agree with Joe, i have never been turned down an offer to play with “him” a lil.

  4. Chris (straight single guy) must be circumcised. A handjob can be fine without lube when dealing with a foreskin.

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