Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “Do guys ever choose masturbation over sex? If so, why?”
Straight Married Guy (Ben): Sure. Plenty of times. Sometimes my wife isn’t around and I don’t really feel like waiting. Or sometimes she is around but really tired, or stressed, or pissed off at me. Sometimes, she wants to watch me do myself. Sometimes, I have a fantasy I’ve been working on and having another body with me would actually be a little, um, distracting. Sometimes, I just want to look at porn. Basically, I have lots of different moods and I find myself in all different types of situations and masturbation is just one tool I can use to be sexually expressive. It’s a good tool. I like it.
Gay Committed Guy (Mark): Ever? Sure, nothing wrong with that, or with a woman making the same choice. It also depends on one’s definition of “sex” — I don’t think I need to remind anyone reading this column that there are plenty of ways to get off besides penetration. But given the opportunity, whatever form the sex might take, I’d say it’s a rare guy who prefers to go it alone. So if we’re talking mutual masturbation with a partner: cool. But if he’s having a wank in the bathroom every night before hitting the hay, leaving his lady lacking: uncool.
Straight Single Guy (Max): The easy answer is uh… NO! My hand is not as sexy or as fun as a sexy and/or fun lady. If it’s a choice between lady and lonely… lady wins. I think all guys would agree. That being said, I have been in the situation where masturbation has been a better alternative. For example, in one particular relationship, which was riddled with power struggles, I chose on multiple occasions to stay away from the lady-friend in order to avoid the brainwashing that sex brought about. (You’re mad at me? Well… you wanna go to my room? Now then. What were we mad about? Very frustrating). Masturbation can be a real head clearer. Sex, on the other hand, can act as an amnesiac. On my better days, I can recognize this.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com. Our Committed Gay Guy, Mark, is a writer and teacher in NYC and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England — both asked us to file them under “shy.” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Great article…you never know!
I just got a great new book on enhancing my sex life. By an Aussie, Sabrina Rogers Anderson. Title is ‘A Fantastic Sex Life and How to Get It!’Got it at amazon. Great help! Fun read!