Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What is the general consensus on women with big labia, or longer inner labia, or dark labia? Does it really matter? With the rise in labiaplasty surgery and all the adult men’s mags only showing only “neat and tidy” vulvas, it’s hard to figure out if this is just some manufactured porn ideal or a vast preference among men…?”
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): If this is anything like the reference for cut versus uncut men (which would be the only way I could relate to this question, frankly), I’d have to say it’s probably just personal preference and if most of the men’s porn rags have neat and tidy, then that might just be the preference of the magazine editors. Big, dark, longer inner, whatever, it’s probably safe to say that a general consensus among men is CLEAN labia. After that, I’m sure it’s not a deal breaker.
Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): Cosmetically, a woman should feel completely comfortable with herself — confidence in oneself and one’s appearance is key. If you want to go to a dermatologist for help for vulvar and vaginal issues, that’s totally fine. There’s no shame in it and some women, especially those who have given birth, will feel more comfortable in bed if they get work done. I also understand women wanting to take any number of healthy avenues (diet, working out) toward as much visual improvement as one desires. At the end of the day, it’s totally up to personal preference.
As far as the male consensus, let me just say that if everything looked exactly the same, think how boring that would be. Those adult magazines simply don’t do justice to the great “variety” that is out there! Anyway, everyone being different in their own way is what makes us all special (not to go all Mr. Rogers). But seriously, if a guy is with someone he wants to be with for who she is as a complete person, how her labia look doesn’t really matter — he’s just thrilled to get to be intimate with her, and all her parts.
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): I’m not a fan of plastic surgery, but I concede that not everyone is blessed with the same perfect proportions as me — that is, a big enough head to comfortably support some seriously outsized features.
So I understand why someone would get his or her nose done. After all, it’s out there for all to see, at all times. As for people whose face is the secret to their success, the pressure to have photogenic features has meant that movie stars stretching back to Marilyn Monroe have been getting their faces “fixed.”
The same is true for porn stars and their most valuable assets, their professional pussies. Either the big, long and dark labia are all being nipped and tucked, or they aren’t making it off the casting couch. But whether they’re being physically cut, or simply being cut in the editing suite, “imperfect” labia aren’t finding their way into pornography.
While this may be creating some impossible standards among men (and women) who can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality, for the rest of us it should be liberating. If your genitals aren’t frequently exposed to countless viewers, as long as they work, it doesn’t much matter what they look like. If you trust someone enough to let them down there, you should trust them not to put some alien porn ideal before your feelings or, more importantly, their chances of getting laid.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Most Likely To; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Here’s a little something I learned from a bona-fide porn actress: they air brush their privates.
Now, I’d heard that before, but I thought “airbrushing” was some kind of post-production editor’s effect.
Nope. It’s a fucking spray can that they use to paint the womens’ vaginas and bungholes right on set. When the make-up starts to wear off, the airbrush guy comes in and sprays her again, mid-scene.
Ever see a celebrity in person? Meh. Never as hot as they are on-screen after three hours of professional make-up. The vagina is no different. Don’t assume that piglet-pink pussy you’re so jealous of is naturally that color at all.
Darling – you’re bombarding yourself! You’re not getting dinky neat little shaven havens thrown at you as you walk down the street! Had I not sought out porn as an adult the number of vulvas i would have seen so far would have been 3.. my own, my mum’s (not in close up! just a relaxed, human body is normal kind of family..)and the rather alarming magazine my friend found that belonged to her dad when we were about 12.. (she was dressed as a school girl and had a pencil where pencils should not be.. it stuck with me :0/) So, as I didn’t start looking at online naked people till my early 30’s the only feedback I had about my pussy was from lover’s, who have all been complimentary so my body image for that part was and is positive whether I’m porn perfect or not :0) If you’re BF seems to like what you’ve got he’s probably watching them for the same reason you are, because he likes seeing naked people have sex, and in porn naked people only come in one,unrealistic but perfect for film, neat, tweaked and tidy form..
I am thinking of having a labiaplasty as i too am bombarded by vaginas that are all neat! Mine is not to bad but do have longer labia inside and i am starting to feel very very insecure about it. my partner and i watch porn but now i just feel small when we watch it, feel like a mess to be honest compared to these girls. I know its porn and they have prob have had surgery but i wonder does my bf like watching because they are so neat and tidy. I feel like shit!
i h8 mine
if its ugly get one of those plasty deals and then youll be gold
Oh, and I was talking to Julia.
the way your labia looks, but there are not a majority, and you certainly don’t need to get naked around them. The guys (girls if one day you find out you’re gay or bi) who’ll like your pussy because playing with it is a good way to make you squirm with pleasure, regardless of its shape will show up, just chose those. Good luck, and much love!
I also have an issue with my big labia. Personally, I dont think it’s ugly or unagreeable, but many of you you have stated that you have never heard people joke or talk shit about big vag lips, which is bullshit. Ive seen many examples if people putting down women with large labia. Not just boys my age (who have only ever seen the “porn version” of a vagina) but older men on television etc. And this negative perception in society is what has caused me to feel insecure about my body. It just frustrates me that the boys of my generation are only familiar with the over-exposed porn vagina, and now my body will be considered abnormal, ugly and unacceptable in society. I hope this gets fixed soon.
1.) Porn is a product, it is subject to heavy Photoshop, digital alteration, and CGI. I work in advertising/design, you’d be surprised at the minor details that are edited for the viewing pleasure of the consumer and to create a constant state of illusion for the buyer. There’s obvious stuff like editing out flub on bikini models, but I’ve even had to go in and edit cuticles, even out nail length, ad a hit of green to a blue eye, add a hint of gold to a brown eye. It gets silly folks.
2.) NEVER heard of a man having a problem with the look of a woman’s genitalia with whom he was sexually active. Never heard a complaint or an off-color comment or an expectation that it look like his favorite porn stars.
to mdg: That’s a disgusting thing to say. You even used the word “should”..but you don’t get to decide how someone’s body should look. There are variations. It is what it is. Work on your own attitude instead of suggesting surgery to people.
Its okay Gangsta everyone knows dat most of da brothas can’t live up 2 da myth…thats prolly why your mad about your small black penis.
I donts like pussys that look like roast beef vaginas. I is talking the kind thats looking like a sandwitch. That shits gross get it fixed. IF you shit all to big on one side and the other is shorter that is gross get it fixed. Also if you clit to small you kids going to have small penises. I will dump you just for that. All these problems I have seen in white girls the sistas are perfict. Probably why the white man is geneticly inferiour.
Seriously…..? Lol… meat curtins are fucking disgusting. A woman should have a nice closed innie slit. Anything else is grotesque, and she should get it addressed.
I definitely get way more turned on by women with small inner labias. If all a woman was, was a vagina… I’d want her to have a perfect symmetrical pink little tiny vagina, because that would be all I’d ever see. In the real world it’s not that important at all. Like other people have said it’s the whole package. I’ve never met a vulva I didn’t enjoy kissing and having sex with, but I do have my favorites. Women can’t get mad or upset or hurt by that either because if a guy had a 2 inch penis he would definitely not be her favorite.
Nah,i love a woman for who she is,not what she has.Ive NEVER in my entire life heard another guy complain,joke about or berate a woman’s ladybits down there.Im sure it has happened before though but most likely by a very clueless,insensitive and uneducated albeit miniscule number of guys out there.:)