Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “How can I can convince two hetero dudes to have a threeway with me?”
Straight Single Guy (Max): Barring the possibility that you could trick these “hetero” dudes into your lair (using beer, snacks or Ahnold movies) I’d say that your best bet is to try and wiggle your way into the arms of two friends or, even better, the bromance. Face it: a lot of guys go by the super homophobic rule of “as long as the balls don’t touch,” so you’re much better off finding two guys that are as comfortable with one another’s body as they are with their joint egos. After that, your best policy is honesty. You can’t be coy about getting two guys at the same time, so I’d say be up front: “If you boys want me, you’re going to have to share. I’ll be in that room. Come find me?” Oh, and please end any threeway with a lot of high fives. They’re free, and you deserve it.
Straight Married Guy (Ben): What you really need to do is figure out if the MMF threeway is a “Yes,” a “No,” or a “Maybe” for these guys. Yes? No problem — go for it. No? it’s never going to happen – stop wasting your time. Maybe? Well, then it’s negotiable. And, while it’s easiest just to come out and ask, you can also test the waters by sharing “a sexy dream you had,” or confessing a fantasy after a few drinks. If you want to get fancy, use a Yes, No, Maybe list and cover a ton of ground all at once. And when you get your answer, you’ll know how to proceed. The “Maybes” are the ones that need convincing and what that really means is setting some ground rules. Maybe it’s no guy/guy touching. Maybe it’s lots of touching but no kissing. Maybe it’s only one cock visible at a time. Whatever. If it’s a “Maybe” for your guy, the question becomes, “What do you need to make this threesome happen?” And that is a question that can be answered.
Gay Committed Guy (Mark):
1. Get them drunk.
2. If that doesn’t work, you’re on your own. And when you find out, let me know.
3. “Dudes”?
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com. Our Committed Gay Guy, Mark, is a writer and teacher in NYC and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England — both asked us to file them under “shy.” To ask the guys your own question, click here.
I think its crap that its always ok for FFM, but once a female wants MMF, guys don’t like it. C’mon, the whole pretend lesbian sex with one guy is lame, I wanna see one female have the empowered role with 2 males at her beck and call and pleasure her without the guys think they are gay if they ‘touch’ each other. Stop the homophobia guys. Are you against orgies too because you might see another man’s dick? Think before you watch porn too, ’cause you mostly see dick and balls.
Elizabeth bravo, for a very thorough explanation for those simple minded to come to the same conclusions on their own. I can only say that your argument falls on deaf ears, as these men, are insulted by acts that drive their own passions. When you trivialize their importance or dont acknowledge importance of their actions, and the thoughts behind those acts — then you unwittingly ignore not only the caresses that are the physical expression of their emotions, but the validity of them. Which is what , closet Dan is saying. ::Smile:: Rubbing balls against a clit …now’s that’s awkward yet pleasant exercise
I like Daniel’s argument, but when I read it, I see him standing behind a bull, gently cupping his nuts with one hand , while he rims the noble animal …in a seemingly innocuous “physical occurance”
My point is that being not homosexual or bisexual does not automatically make someone homophobic. I am not homosexual or bisexual. I have absolutely no desire to be kissed by another girl, because I am not attracted to other women. I am not AFRAID of, or have hatred toward women who are sexually attracted to other women. I am not scared that I would be attracted to women if I gave it a go. I know that I don’t enjoy kissing people I am not attracted to, and since I am not attracted to women, it goes to reason I would not enjoy kissing women. If I meet a woman who I am sexually attracted to, I might try it out, but I’ve yet to meet that woman. I believe the exact same can be applied to the “balls touching” issue. It is possible to not enjoy sexual acts because of the people involved, without it being because of the meaning. Just because a man does not want to sexually interact with another man does not mean he is homophobic. It MIGHT mean that he is… or it could mean that he realizes he does not want to sexually interact with a person he is not remotely attracted to. It’s like saying that if a man does not want his balls touched by a girl who he is not attracted to, he must be homosexual, or else there is something wrong with him. Obviously-that is not true in every situation. Why would the reverse gender maxim be true?
All I am saying is that not ALL men who really do not want to sexually interact with another man are homophobic. Just like not all men who would be okay with sexually interacting with another man are gay. Generalizing is really not okay.
“As long as the balls don’t touch” is homophobic and I will explain why: to revile the idea of ones balls touching another guy’s (especially in a sexual context) is not disliking the act benignly (“taste”, “preference” or otherwise), it is disliking it because it creates the possibility and most importantly the PERCEPTION the guy might like it, or might have secretly wanted it. It cannot be the act in and of itself that is objectionable, because physical touching is just that, just touching. Ball touching, lips touching, etc. are meaningless physical occurances. But we give those physical acts meanings, connotations, suggestions. And when one determines an act like balls touching is unacceptable, you have to ask yourself “what is the meaning of the act that I find unacceptable?” And in this case, that answer has to do with a pervasive homophobia that stigmatizes physical touching between men. It is NOT about knowing what you want. Because if you were so secure about knowing what you want, how could your balls touching another guys’ balls derail that? It doesn’t. And the objection otherwise is homophobic.
I know men who are not physically or emotionally attracted to men, but would be okay with a MMF threesome, even if “the balls touch” or whatever, just because they find multiple sex partners at once very hot. Granted, these men could be lying about the attracted-ness to other men, but I really don’t believe they are – it’s usually fairly easy to tell if they’re hiding something in that department.
And screwball, just because a man is honestly not interested in a sexual encounter with another man does not make him narrow minded. It just means he knows what he wants. I mean, do you believe someone who chooses that they have no desire to participate in watersports or BDSM or anal sex is narrow minded? I personally believe that sexual preferences are okay… there are certain acts that I will never try, because I know that even if it might feel good, it’s not something I am comfortable doing. I think that I am being true to myself, and the same goes for Johnny. If he knows he has no desire to be with another man in any way, not because it makes him “gay” but because he has no desire for that… it just means he knows what he wants and respects his own boundaries.
I’m thinking Max was attempting to condemn the homophobic presumption that a man being in any way intimate with or around other men is “totally gay” and to be avoided at all costs, even if it would net you a hot sexual encounter. He was condemning that belief and the “hetero dudes” that share it, not every hetero dude. His advice as to how to get that threesome happenin’ is the most on-point also.
Screwball, why bother with women ? with all that ball rubbing… Johny is not a hypocrite, he may be limited by your standards but he’s honest, you, on the otherhand, you’re just embarassed of what you really want.
Screwball indeed.
“Not wanting to rub my balls against another man’s balls makes me super-homophobic?”
No, Johnny, it doesn’t.
Just makes you a typical and unadventurous straight male lover.
FFM threesomes with two girls actively participating with each other? Let me guess Johhny. You think that’s HOT.
Two guys? Not so much,eh, Johnny?
In addition to being a boring lay, you’re also a hypocrite.
This is why I prefer male and female bisexual lovers. Everyone else is so narrow-minded it’s like hitting up a Republican Party convention.
Ha… damn… nice.
Typically it’s best if you aren’t attached to one of them. Two casual friends, some drinks, and bring it up… “I have always fantasies’ about (insert here)”
But let’s not be sloppy drunk shall we. : )
Not wanting to rub my balls against another man’s balls makes me “super homophobic”?
I’ll tell you how. Ditch your boyfriend and find a coupla guys – where at least one is bi.
The other could be bi or gay.
Your fantasy of two straight guys and pulling it off is just that. Fantasy.
i had this once. a MMF threesome.. no DP tho. ew.
it was really hot.
and totally awesome, but it was definitely because they guys wern’t sober and knew each other really really really well.
This is a fantasy of mine….but I am taken and my boyfriend would be highly, HIGHLY against a MMF threeway. Maybe someday though, and thanks for all the advice boys, I’ll remember it if the opportunity ever strikes 😉