Wise Guys – How Much Do Men Dish About Sex with Their Friends?

photo by elsie esq

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: How much detail do guys go into with their friends about their sex lives?

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): In my experience, men brag about sex, or a partner’s sexual skills, but very rarely go into any detail. From what I hear, this is opposite the kinds of sexual conversations women have with each other. Guys do not write Penthouse Letters to each other, or even consider talking that way. Usually it is more like, “Oh my god, I got the sickest blowjob last night…” and that’s the end of it.

Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): I imagine that most straight guys’ disclosures of their sex lives stay confined within the balmy cloisters of bar and locker room talk, and considering that I’ve spent my entire adult gay life avoiding getting pummeled in sports bars and men’s locker rooms, I have to admit that my knowledge of this topic remains fairly untested. With that said, however, given the human propensity to brag, I wouldn’t find it entirely illogical to assume that most straight men relish in dishing out the details of their sex lives to their male confidants, especially if you’ve got a knack for deep-throating or you’re willing to entertain the third input. Even if you’re terribly lousy in the sack, I wouldn’t be alarmed. Though you might be Missionary Mary in real life, I’m sure that after a healthy round of Jager shots and a tinge of embellishing, you’ll be Wheelbarrow Wendy in the eyes of all his friends.

Straight Committed Guy (Johnny): I have an “I don’t kiss and tell” policy with most people. But with my closest friends, I repeat everything. Every single detail, all five senses. One group of friends and I have been over-sharing since 9th grade, when all sex was uncharted territory. We had to put our heads together to make sense of it all. We just never stopped. I cut it out when things get more serious with a woman, and she actually starts meeting the friends I’ve described her to. I only repeat the details of new hook-ups. I just find them too exhilarating to keep to myself (I’d make a terrible secret agent). It does make me feel juvenile to indulge this impulse, but at least I have great confidantes who know how to keep their traps shut.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow; Straight Single Guy is blogger Chris DiClerico; and our Straight Committed Guy is regular EMandLO.com commenter, Johnny. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Generally the closer you are to the girl (and the closer she is to your friends), the harder it is to chat with your friends about intimate details like you would about some useless lay. But like Angelo says, guys will usually make the sex sound a lot better to their guy friends than it actually is, haha. All about bragging rights. 😉

  2. It varies. With some of my friends (I’m straight) we talk the full works and with others, it’s just a few outline details. I prefer talking the full works as I like to hear and learn and I think that this ‘mental intimacy’ is a clear demonstration of friendship.

    Naturally, I have discussed full-on sex with my female friends – including those with whom I have had no sexual involvement.

  3. I was sitting in a cafe in NYC last night and the 4 gay dudes next to me were talking about their weekend. One guy said “oh it was nothing, I just ate his butt” as I sat there eating my bagel. Hehe.

  4. This explains/confirms why I seem to catch a few of the men in my social circles looking at me funny.

  5. The majority of my friends are male and I was surprised to find that they, among their male friends, talk about and analyze sex like women do, in detail. If it comes up, they talk to me about it as well. These are straight, macscu and intelligent males but maybe they are part of the exception group. When they were younger, some of them sometimes bragged about it but I think it’s a matter of immaturity.

  6. I noticed back in middle-school and high-school that men in lockerrooms will generally dish about their sexual experiences until… they actually start to have sexual experiences.


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