Wise Guys: Is the Way to a Man’s Heart Really Through His Stomach?

photo by Julie via WikiCommons

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Is the way to a man’s heart through his stomach? And if not, what’s the way?”

Married Bisexual Guy (Bryan Sebeck): In a word, yes.  Several peer-reviewed scientific studies have shown that men are most attracted to scents that are both simple and food-related.  Dr. Alan Hirsch, MD from The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation has done over 25 years of study on the subject and found that you’re far better off to smell like a box of Hot Tamales or a Tim Horton’s doughnut than you are flowers or other perfumes.Ask the Wise Guys
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Now, I’m not advocating that you go out and rub down with some chocolate chip cookies.  Unless, that is, you’re into bringing food into bed.  In which case, more power to you.  What I am saying is that most men are in far better moods, feel better about themselves, and are generally more pleasant to be around when they’re fed well.  If you really want to impress a guy, learn how to cook one dish perfectly.  Invite him over for dinner, get him to help you out by chopping vegetables or something similar, and I can promise that you can take him back to your bedroom for a very special dessert.

Single Bisexual Guy (Jack): I think it’s not so much about food as about the effort behind it. While I generally enjoy when partners have cooked for me, I have usually not enjoyed *what* they cooked for me. More often than not, I take over cooking duties because I am a good cook, and again, the effort is appreciated. Everyone likes to have their partner make a special effort for them, and if you’re good at food, it certainly isn’t a bad thing. But if you’re not good at food, it can be folding laundry, putting away dishes, or keeping in mind what his interests are and supporting them. I think the way to anyone’s heart – man or woman – is showing that you are part of the team, and you are really thinking about what things matter to the other person, large or small.

Single Straight Guy (Saad): Through the stomach is definitely one way to a man’s heart. And if you venture that way, you’re pretty sure to find there’s a solid concrete highway already in place – laid there by his mother, father, or grandmother, whoever cooked the meals he cherished in his childhood. You could still try to win a guy over with your cooking, just don’t make the same dishes that he enjoys when he goes home to his family. You can’t win that competition. Having said that, the kitchen is definitely a good place for couples to bond. If you can cook together — he chops, you stir — it doesn’t matter much how the food tastes afterward as long as it’s edible. Keep things low-key and enjoy the time together.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Married Bisexual Guy is Bryan Sebeck, a newlywed engineer and artist working in Detroit, MI who blogs at A Yooper Steampunk; our Single Bisexual Guy is Jack, a software consultant based in Phoenix, Arizona who blogs at Facets of Our Lives;; and our Single Straight Guy is  Saad Hasan, who works on nanotechnology with a team in Pennsylvania. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Absolutely. Finding out that a woman is a great cook is like finding out she’s a great lay. Yessss! By the same token, finding out that she can’t cook is like finding out she’s a lousy lay. “Oh… you ‘don’t do that,’ huh?…”

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