Wise Guys – What Do You Think After a One-Night Stand?

photo by foxtongue

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What are most guys thinking when they wake up after a one-night stand?”

daniel_100Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Seriously, it depends if a guy is sober and/or can remember how he got into bed with so-and-so. The alcohol factor is really important here. But otherwise, what a woman should not assume is that after the sex, a relationship is what he wants. If you are looking for something more, lay it out there without shame, and if he isn’t down with it, then move on.

mark_luczak_100Straight Single Guy (Mark Luczak): I have limited experience in this realm, but guys are thinking probably the same thing gals are, and nothing that would be too unexpected. We’re recalling the previous night’s events that led to the tryst, or trying to piece them together as necessary. We’re remembering the sex itself, of course, good or bad (if good, maybe even weighing the likelihood that everyone might be game for a morning-after encore), and starting to review whether anything happened that we really might regret.

We’re probably giving our partner-du-jour the courtesy of a comfortable wakeup to some degree (morning spoon or smooch, maybe even some coffee and awkward conversation), but we’re also very much starting to think about the exit strategy — picturing how we, or they, or both, are going to vacate whatever premises we’ve ended up in, as soon as possible, without being assholes. Maybe we’re already thinking about whether, despite
the stigma of a one-night stand, there’s any possibility of something moving forward, a booty call situation or even something more substantial (I’ve written before that sleeping together immediately doesn’t necessarily preclude potential for something more long-term). Past that, we’re just thinking about what’s going on that day, and what we have to do, but that hey, no matter what, we got some!

james_glazebrook_100Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): Get out. GET OUT! Nah, I dunno. The closest I’ve been to a one-night stand is a couple of boozy one-offs with mates, one of which ended with a trip to pick up the morning after pill. Actually, standing outside a Croydon chemist on a wet weekday morning, waiting for my best friend to prevent the possibility of a wrong-love-child, the thought of running did flash through my head. No such flight risk after my one-weekend stand when visiting a friend in university turned into a tryst with her flatmate. After less than 48 hours together we’d already: stayed up all night talking; had period sex; held hands in public. Which should give you an idea about my commitment to commitment — and why I’m the last guy to ask about one-night stands.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Most Likely To; our Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; and our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. I can’t read a man’s mind. But, for the record, I’ve never HAD a one night stand.


    Guys I’ve only had sex with ONCE, but had a somewhat relationship with. Fuck Buddies in college, but that wasn’t just One Night. Never once, after the chance to hook up on the first date and after saying to him, “Let’s wait until we get to know each other a little better….” did I wake up the next morning in my OWN bed and think, “Damn, I should have fucked him!”

    The lack of alcohol in my life may have something to do with it. Or maybe my thought that “that’s what third (and sometimes second) dates are for…..” 😉

    Once had a guy TELL everybody in the Student Union, after a late night “going home together after a party” (which DIDN’T end in sex) that we had hooked up. I confronted the Pig in front of God and everyone, and AFAIK never did that to a woman again. But, I can’t say what men think.

    I consider myself Sex Positive, I think there is Nothing wrong with One Night Stands, I know plenty of people who have had a really good time on them. I just always have had a little too much self-protection going on, and too-low-blood-alcohol to have ever had it happen.

    I always figured “If he doesn’t call me the next day if I DIDN’T do him, how would I have felt if I HAD?” Your millage may vary, and probably does. Sex is easy to come by. As much as I love it, I never saw the need to do guy I just met RIGHT THEN. (Yeah, I often WANTED TO, but never died of horny-ness waiting until subsequent meetings.)

Comments are closed.