Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,”What’s the general male consensus on period sex?“
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): Period sex, like most forms of sex, falls into the category of sure, why not. The truth is we are generally happy to be having sex, even if it’s a bit messy at times. It also comes down to a level of comfort. Often when you are comfortable in a relationship, this is something that is not a huge deal. On the flip side, if it’s the first time, it might be better to wait a bit before leaving a permanent mark on the boudoir. At the end of the day, sex is sex is sex and it’s all good. Period.
Straight Married Guy (David Jacobs): Limits the menu somewhat and helps to have a dark towel handy, but that said I’m fine with it. Period. I know some women I’ve been with I’ve been with seemed a little skeeved by it, but I always suspected there was really something else going on. After all, sex is supposed to be messy, right? But menstrual blood is a pretty primal reminder of the whole cycle, and of the possibility of impregnation, which (alas) probably weighs a bit heavier in most women’s minds. That said, I doubt most guys feel strongly about it. Bad metaphor, but why look a gift horse in the mouth? We’re usually just thankful to be getting some.
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): What is period sex? Is that like when you tell someone “You and I are having sex. Period.”? If so, I am all for that. If it has to do with a certain monthly ritual, uh, not so much. I guess it depends on how nice your sheets are. I like “True Blood” and all too but let’s not go crazy.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is David Jacobs, a NYC-based photographer; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Alida,
Wow. That is pretty major. I think some guys will always be weirded-out by the V, in a way. You know, loving it and not. Then throw blood into the mix, many men cannot think of it in a sexual way when its bleeding. Unfortunately, some people think of childbirth or other extremes just because if the nature of blood. It may be his complex, don’t let that discourage u. Just give him a few days break during that time and hope he comes around on his own.
m,y man wont even touch me in any way that might contrued as sexual so long as I’m on my period. This has been going on for four years. Itell him how it hurts my feelings, and its just blood, its not a big issue and he still freaks out and makes me feel miserable and tells me ‘its not me, it’s him. Dont make his problem my problem’ excuse me? HOW CAN I NOT!?!?!?!? He’s a really great guy and we have awesome sex, just not when that crimson wave comes around. I’m going crazy and I don’t know what to do anymore. We talk, we talk, we fight, we don’t have sex, sometimes we do, and usually he wont touch me with a 10 foot pole. I’m not mean or cranky when I’m on my period all I want to do is hang out, cuddle, kiss, and let it go to sex. Is feeling like I hate myself, disgusting, and undesirable an overraction to this?
my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time and then a few days later I had my period and I know most girls don’t want to do it during their periods, let alone after doing it for the first time but I was so horny I wanted to jump him. He didn’t mind and it was so amazing we did it every day because I was in to it as much as him. He wasn’t thrilled about the mess but he didn’t care because I was more abandoned then usual which he loved
My boyfriend is super understanding. The moment I knew he was the one was when I started my period at his house in the middle of the night and it got on his beige sheets and absolutely ruined them. The next morning when I realized what happened he said its no but deal honey. We can get new sheets! I fell in love right then!! We have period sex every now and then but he doesn’t push it and I don’t push it, if we’re in the mood we go for it if not that’s perfectly fine too. It should be a mutual thing and if one person is uncomfortable then let it be.
My last boyfriend got me into period sex, and he would “un plug” lol at first i found that disgusting but after awhile it didn’t bother me. I found sex is super amazing during that time everything is more sensitive. But my new boyfriend doesn’t want to touch me during that time. I’m finding it very frustrating cause my hormones are through the roof!! I want to jump him when I see him. But I can’t. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want his fun, but I find that so selfish!!
okay, i just read the ‘unplug them’ comment by RTS. That is totally freaking disgusting.
Props to open-minded guys who are not bothered by it, but I don’t even know how some women can WANT to have sex on their period. For me it would be totally physically uncomfortable! I tried it a couple times but since then have always said no.
And seriously people, a few days of anticipation never hurt anyone. Once I dated a guy that was so used to women saying yes to it, he actually got mad when I said ‘no thanks’. He tried to tell me it would make my cramps better! My reaction was, ‘Ew! Do you really understand whats happening in my body right now? Friction is definitely NOT going to make me feel better!’
So please gentlemen, respect when the lady-parts need a break.
I totally agree with telling your man about you menstrating. It was a bit of a shock the first time I had sex with my GF when she was on her period at how much blood there was on us.
She says and I’m surprised that no one else has mentioned this but she says she has alot more feeling when she is on her period its like extra sensitive for her which she happens to like alot. So im happy to make her wish come true. I even earned my red stripes the first time we tried it.
Slart, you are right. A woman SHOULD warn her partner she is menstruating. Although not “Gross” it is something a woman needs to tell her partner before he gets his face or his Manhood in there.
That’s just good sexual etiquette.
🙂
Period sex has absolutely never been a problem for me, although it was a bit of a shock the first time. I didn’t know she was having her period and when I went into the bathroom I had an instant of panic (“Medic!”). When I realized the red was hers and not mine, I figured out what was going on and all was well.
Most of the women I’ve known were pretty into period sex. Well, they were generally more into sex, period. Plus, they said it helped with their cramps. As a giver by nature, I was happy to help.
In the days before birth control pills were widely used, this is the time most girls were eager to have sex. During this time, they felt safe having sex with no condoms getting in the way of total feeling. I remember in the 60’s a lot of girls eagerly calling to say their period had started and they were eager to spend the evening in bed and not out on a date. A lot of towels to launder, but, kind of fun to pull the string and un-plug them…back then most girls used tampons.
I want to thank the Wise Guys for their comments. My Man feels the same way, (Jay, hilarious comment, BTW. Thanks for weighing in. 😉 )
I figured out that if we didn’t have sex while I was having a period (which My Man doesn’t mind at all and in fact talked me into many years ago) we would go an average of 84 days a year with NO sex! That’s too much time without sex for both of us. So, we get the maroon king size sheet and the maroon old raggy towel, and if it gets messy, we’re both washable. Take a hot bath beforehand, and there is little more mess than any other time of the month.
I don’t see the problem. Menstrual fluid is mostly mucous anyway, only a small part of it is actually blood. (OK some people are grossed out by mucous. That’s what female arousal fluid at least in part is very similar to. That isn’t gross in any adult’s book.)
I’m glad My Man is an adult and doesn’t have a problem with menstrual sex, as I not only really want to have sex a lot during my period, but climaxing really helps my cramps and my mood. That should be enough to make all but the most skeevish people want to do it then.
Mileage, like many things.
I think period sex is gross. It’s messy and I just don’t like it. I’m a woman and I don’t think I’m “unclean” when I’m menstruating. I just don’t enjoy it. It’s four days a month. No big deal.
This is a cultural question…. there are cultures (Arab for example) where many men believe that women are unclean when they are having their period. This is not a religious thing it is cultural and frankly frustrating for an American woman who is used to men like the ones who have commented above.
It always amazes me that there are men who won’t have period sex b/c “it’s gross” but will do anal (and some who are even fixated on it). The vagina is pretty self-cleaning and period blood doesn’t have the bacteria, etc. that feces does…and even if a woman (or man’s) anal cavity is free from feces, it still has that bacteria present…So why are periods gross, but anal isn’t?
I knew a man once (not a lover) who loved to rim both men and women, but would not have period sex with a woman b/c it was “unclean”. WTF?
Not knocking anal, as I have enjoyed both giving and receiving, just saying there seems to be a logical disconnect to me.