Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Why do guys seem to dislike giving oral sex more than woman seem to dislike giving it?“
Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): I’ve met a bunch of straight men and woman who dislike the pastime, which is a bit of a mystery to me — most gays just love the activity! One in my position can only speculate, but I wonder if it’s a fear of “the other” that has some people so squeamish. Sure, everyone loves sex, but some just want to keep to keep everything perfectly aligned, mouth to mouth, genitalia to genitalia. I bet the people who shy away from oral sex are just unfamiliar with how everything works down there or fear they’ll get a mouthful of a bodily fluid.
Straight Single Guy (Chris): I hate to disappoint you, but we don’t all dislike giving oral. I’m not fishing for dates here, but I personally love giving as much as receiving. I promise I can have that verified for you. I think many guys are just too anxious to get to sex. I suppose I was too when I was younger. Now that I’m a little older, I’m much more interested in leaving a good impression. My recovery time isn’t the same as it once was either, so I guess I’m compensating somewhat, but I remember always being pretty into it. I don’t know if there’s a secret. Ladies, keep things nice and trim down there: consider going with a complete “no spin zone” or maybe even a vajazzling to try to drum up some interest. (He should do be willing to do the same for you.) And speaking of reciprocation, remember the golden rule: if you give good head then hopefully you’ll get good head in return. I guess the only other advice I can give if you’re still having trouble is that you can find me on Facebook pretty easily…
Straight Married Guy (Mike): Who said that men dislike giving oral sex? Nothing is more arousing than the smell of a woman. So, just for selfish reasons, oral is a great way to start. However, there are obviously men who are repelled by the idea and women who are self-conscious, but it’s nothing that a little personal hygiene won’t cure. As for women, there seems to be much more pressure and expectation to expertly perform orally — the blowjob is a fixture of porn and is practically de rigueur. I wonder how many women really enjoy being a service provider? With either, a little communication would go a long way: as exciting as oral sex can be, there’s also nothing worse than when it is half-hearted.
For the record, readers, normally we would delete a comment as lame-ass as William’s — we consider ourselves the benevolent dictators of this site and that kind of immature BS isn’t welcome around here. This is a forum for adults to discuss issues, respectfully and intelligently. However, we think that BC and especially Johnny’s responses are so awesome that we are going to leave the entire conversation as-is.
As a matter of fact, pervert that my girlfriend is, she once did EXACTLY that, William. The chocolate sauce thing.
What a boring sex life you must have.
And of course, @William, as a straight man, the idea of a woman going down on you is just as repulsive and you would *never* consider the idea, right? Because what’s good for the gander is good for the goose…
And the vagina is in no way comparable to the rectum, just so you know.
As a straight guy, I can’t think of anything more disgusting that to lick a vajaja. Puke !
Not for all the tea in China.
I’ve never tried it and don’t plan to, ever. I think it would put me off seafood for life.
What’s wrong with men? Sure we are mammals, but I see no reason to take it to the next level.
I cannot understand statements like “If your bf won’t do it then dump him!”
If this is what women really think, then no wonder so many end up as single mothers or with men not worth their salt (no pun intended )
Perhaps I’m missing something (as I’ve no experience with this issue), but the idea of licking a p*ssy just makes my stomach turn. Comments such as “It tastes great” don’t convince me either, if some bloke put chocolate sauce on his rectum would you toss his salad? I didn’t think so.
I’m not having a go folks, I just think there are more important priorities in life, especially when it comes to choosing a partner.
I LOVE that “… many guys are just too anxious to get to sex.”
So, following you closely here: it’s not sex when it’s the WOMAN being directly stimulated.
Uh-huh. I’ll be REAL sure to check you out on Facebook.
Wow, I look forward to my next partner/ GF. There is nothing better than going down on a women. 99.9% That is where I work my way to after kissing, rubbing, exchanging. I head south. It is a place in the sun, the greatest place to go. My soon to be ex, never took care of me down there. That being said. The next will. And I will don’t care hair or no hair (prefer hairy) I will give her my best. I think it brings you closure to your lover. And that is why your together in the 1st place. And the occasional odor (we are human). Once you get past the smell, you got it licked. I mean within natural reason, respect your partner. Go shower together, then move on from there. My tongue never goes limp.
Yeah, I guess there are worse things than smelling like cleaning products…
Although I hear vegetarians taste better, maybe PETA could work that into their next ad campaign?
SS, LOL! Hey, cantaloupe and Clorox isn’t bad…. 😉
@Madamoiselle L
“Semen smells, too, and that is NEVER a reason not to give a man a BJ.”
Although, let’s be honest, ML, it would be SO much better if it tasted like a soy latte… 🙂
misspiggy, if that works for you, that’s fine. But, according to many sexperts, only 12% or so of women are capable of multiple orgasms, and even then, most of us who are capable don’t climax EVERY TIME we have any type of sex. I am glad you are capable of multiples, (it rocks, doesn’t it?) but even with being able to have multiples, MOST women can’t get to the first one without oral. FEW women regularly orgasm from intercourse alone. A few, but most of them don’t all the time, and oral feels SO different. It’s like he’s at the CORE of your being. Amazing.
Have you tried a dental dam or just plain plastic wrap? IMO, a grown man should not only tolerate the fine aroma of a nice pussy, but should CRAVE it. I know My Man does. Maybe Your Man just needs some desensitization therapy. Meaning the MORE he does it, the easier it gets. A clean women doesn’t smell BAD, she just smells like a women. Semen smells, too, and that is NEVER a reason not to give a man a BJ. *shrug* If YOU are happy with NO oral, I guess it works. It would be a deal breaker for many of us, though.
I can have multiples, but I know I am happy if I climax every other or every 3rd time. (Used to be more often, but things change when you mature.)
As you get older, you may decide you want more out of sex. IMO, the “Ew, it’s gooey and it smells funny.” Doesn’t cut it as an “excuse” not to go Down Town for most women.
Your mileage may vary.
Mine thinks it’s not fair that in intercourse I get to lay there and have multiple orgasms while he does most of the work and gets just one – so for him oral is kind of making up the balance! I would have saved some heartache if I had accepted early on that we have very different smell preferences – I love his smell and much prefer going down on him some time after he’s showered, whereas he has an ultra-sensitive schnozz and is just not one for body smells. If I had accepted that, and not taken it as personal rejection of my lady bits, I would have been more comfortable building him-on-me oral into our sexual routine – now it just makes me too uncomfortable. So, yes, oral should be non-negotiable for both partners, but the ‘preferences’ conversation around bathing, shaving and all the rest should be had early on, with a reasonable agreement worked out and adhered to, and nobody being allowed to get upset.
truthfully, I’m female, and I’d rather give than get, especially if the guy is willing to make a little noise or otherwise show appreciation…..
I don’t give oral, because I do in bed only the things I like doing, and giving oral is not one of them.
I do enjoy going down on my wife. We ussually keep it very clean, always taken shower before. The only problem is that my wife is not always into it. Most she likes is twise a month or so. I would mine doing it evry time. Any ide how i can encorage her to have oral more often.
Hey, Chris, thanks for clearing that up! It’s so hard to relate tone in a post on the internet. I know I’ve been sarcastic online before (me?) and it was taken as my real feelings. I understand. I agree with most of what you said.
Yeah, and fuck O’Reilly. The fascist. 🙂