We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
Hi,
My penis girth falls below the average range, as it measures 4 – 4.5 inches around. My length is average at 5.5 inches. I was wondering if you have any sex tips to make the most out of it when in bed?
As we know a bigger girth creates more chance of orgasm for women. Do you have any suggestions on how I can cause more friction when inside, so I can be felt?
I know for a lot of women this could be a deal breaker, and I’ll most likely always be broken up with, but instead of feeling sorry for myself, I am trying to learn how to accept it and get on with life.
Thank you!
Skinny Malinky
What advice do you have for Skinny Malinky? Leave your suggestions in the comments section below.
Thanks for checking in, Skinny Malinky! And yes, sorry, it’s our prerogative as the resident advice ladies: We get to pick your catchy moniker, unless you come up with one yourself. 🙂
Thanks for the advice and support, I appreciate it.
I think it’s a bit out of order that they have put my name as Skinny Malinky haha. I never put my name at the end, but still :s
Just put it as my name now so you know it’s me
A male perspective here.
First off, you are not broken, nor does your penis size dictate that “you will be broken up with.” Everyone has a different penis (or breast) size, and what one person prefers may be very different from the next. I’m assuming that you wouldn’t tell a woman with smaller breasts that she is “broken” or that “she will always get broken up with”? Same thing.
Having an attitude that “I’m going to get broken up with anyway”, on the other hand, may influence your own thoughts, words, and actions such that you “get broken up with” for potentially preventable reasons. As the saying goes, change what you can (work on living as fulfilling and meaningful a life as you define it, and work on presenting your best self), accept what you cannot change (your penis size), and be wise enough to know the difference. Again, which would turn you off more – a woman with smaller breasts, or a woman who relates to you with the implicit or explicit expectation that she is fundamentally broken and that everyone will abandon her because of her breast size? I find the second to be far more off-putting than the first.
I also wonder if you are, like most of us, average in the size department. My understanding is that 5.5 inches is average, not unusually small. I don’t know what an average girth is.
I am unaware of any safe and effective means of penis enlargement, so I would skip that.
As for positions and techniques, learning the basics of a woman’s sexual anatomy and various positions would be an excellent place to start. There are numerous articles and books that go over this (including this website; I suspect that Em and Lo, amongst others, have written books on this. I’ll let someone else chime in on that).
Keep in mind that you are a person and not a sex toy, which means that sexual intimacy isn’t just about providing enough vaginal friction. Remember that most women need clitoral stimulation (which is irrelevant to penis size), and also that the G-Spot, if you believe that it exists, is only a short way inside the vagina. You also have other ways of pleasuring your partner – not only oral sex and using your hands, but massage, sensual touch, sensual conversation, etc. One comment I’ve heard is that lovemaking starts between your (and her) ears. Be mindful of friendship, good communication, being a good partner, etc.
If you were with a woman who was emotionally intelligent and mindful, a great friend, an excellent partner, and an interested and attentive lover who really enjoyed being sexual and sensual with you, would you say to her that you didn’t want to be with her because her breasts weren’t big enough? Neither would I.
Lastly, if you ask what she enjoys and show that you are interested and listening, I suspect that many women would be delighted to educate (and hopefully show!) you what works for them. Again, no two people are alike.
Good luck!