Your Call: Should He Return the Favor?
We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, every now and then, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Make your call by filling out the poll after the jump:
Dear Em & Lo
My guy loves it when I go down on him but he rarely goes down on me he says that he isn’t into it. Is it normal for a guy to be like that and be straight? I mean I will continue to go down on him but I think he should return the favor. Am I wrong for wanting that?
— Stuck on a One-Way Street
Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.
Note to Ryan – if you have encountered pussies that “stink,” be very careful. A healthy vagina does not “stink.” If there’s a strong odor, that means an infection is present.
also, she never said he “expected” a blowjob…just that he enjoys them, and who doesn’t? maybe next time let him know that he wont get his, unless you get yours
I agree with Ryan on the potential smell factor, as well as Alex, who points out the double-standard.
Of course it’s okay to assume this guy’s in the wrong for wanting to go down on a girl… but if it’s a girl not wanting to go down on a guy? Well, he’s downright abusive for even thinking it’s a big deal, isn’t he. The guy (again) is the bastard for having the expectation. The guy’s the bastard in both cases, because, well… he’s the guy. That’s some tired-ass nonsense, right there.
I honestly think if he’s not willing to do something for you every once in a while, then he shouldn’t expect you to go down on him. Fair is fair on my opinion. I’d hate life without some oral now and again.
Ok, the elephant in the room: what if he loves giving head, but her pussy stinks?
Pussies all vary in odor and taste – some stronger, some less so, sometimes at different times – but some really smell and taste BAD.
If there’s nothing wrong down there, she needs to dump him and find a new partner. I think everyone in a sexual relationship is entitled to frequent oral.
awhile back an identical article came up, but the opposite, a girl that just haated giving her boyfriend oral, and the general output from it was ” don’t do what you don’t like”. but now the role is reversed and everyone wants you to end the whole relationship? instead of assuming he’s a jackass, why not find out what he dislikes about it?
I think it’s interesting that the majority assumption is that he’s conflicted and uncomfortable, and not a selfish lazy douche, which is just as likely, if not more so. There are a lot of human beings out there who are very selfish and not very giving when it comes to oral.
It’s sad that “talking” is not an option. Communication is the lube of a relationship, after all.
Even if he’s not that into it, he should be into the idea of pleasuring you and making you feel satisfied in bed…it seems a little immature on his part…so no you are not wrong to want him to return the favor…and I guess try findings ways to help him enjoy it more…if that doesn’t work (this might be extreme) but I might examine the relationship and see if there is reciprocity/compromise lacking in other areas as well
Try giving oral to each other simultaneously (i.e. “69” position). Maybe he will feel more comfortable giving while being distracted. Also, try being vocal as in moans, ahhs, and positive praise. A little encouragement (& confidence boosting) can go a long way. Good luck!
I think Dan Savage says it best (paraphrasing): All models should come standard with oral. If they don’t, return the model.
Robin is right, I enjoy it too much to be without, maybe you should buy a really really good vibrator, one with the rabbit attachment, it’s the next best thing, maybe better depending on the guy.
Look. I understand how you feel. If your giving it you want something in return but consider this. Have you ever been uncomfortable about something? Did you want to be uncomfortable about that thing? Of course not! It bothered you that you were so uncomfortable (just like Im sure it bothers him). Would you like it if someone, after your already feel uncomfortable with the situation, forcing you to do it? No you wouldnt.So dont do that to him. When you love someone you please them how you want to. If going down on him makes you happy, then good. But maybe hed rather please you in a different way.
I will tell you from experience, over the long haul, if you are going to be in it for that long, you will miss it. And then you might really start to resent going down on him and he not returning the favor… Trust me 13 years of marriage and NONE!
For all of you who want to go on strike…didn’t your mothers teach you that two wrongs don’t make a right? Are you willing to let someone else’s bad behavior affect your behavior. Good grief. Love is not a battlefield. Or shouldn’t be.
Threats are not a good way to build a relationship. Leaving someone because of a sexual hangup suggests there never was a relationship.
Talk about it. He probably simply doesn’t get it. Nuclear weapons are rarely a useful tool.