My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Dear Em & Lo,

About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.


Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.  This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

Do you worry about the size of your package?
“15 Ways to Make the Most of Your Small Penis in Bed”

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968 Comments on "My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me"


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3 days 3 hours ago

Like almost every article about this, it includes an insulting picture that makes a joke of the subject and then tries to say that size doesn’t matter, while actually saying that size doesn’t matter, as long as at least average.

8 days 18 hours ago

Dear Em & Lo,
I do not agree with you. I am a mature woman whom has dated many men in my lifetime. If a man has a small penis, he should find a virgin. Once a woman has experienced a full grown penis, the small version will never due. Why settle for less, find what you want. It is not fair to the man, and the woman can not hide the disappointment, it eventually comes out.

I am sorry about the male ego, but the truth is the truth.

Em & Lo
Em & Lo
6 days 6 hours ago

Gentlemen, do not take Kyamie’s bait. She doesn’t speak for all women. Everybody is different: People have different preferences, different deal breakers. And often times, intercourse isn’t even the route to most women’s orgasms. Our culture would do well kick its penis-size obsession. See this reader’s excellent thoughts on the topic: http://www.emandlo.com/stop-relying-on-your-dick-to-please-a-woman/

7 days 6 hours ago

As a guy with a small penis it’s good to hear that kind of honesty. I can totally understand that some women would need a decent size and wouldn’t want to, as you say, settle for less.
Best way for the man and the woman is for the woman to say that, it seems some women think it’s a bad thing and they have to settle and/or not offend the guy.
Honesty works much better

Servent of God
Servent of God
13 days 9 hours ago

She complains about her bf’s small penis but he’ll soon be complaining about her loose worn out pussy . This woman is not worth to be taken as a wife or else she’ll look elsewhere for bigger dicks behind her husband’s back . Lust for hung men has overpowered her conscience .

13 days 23 hours ago

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1 month 19 days ago

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2 months 2 days ago
That’s what happens with promiscuity. The more the women can compare the more unsatisfied they are. I’m average, between 5.5 and 6 I guess (I haven’t measured it since 20 years ago) and I’m asuming the truth, no hard feelings, no self-deception. It is what it is. There is not 8 inches penises for every girl out there, not even 6 inches. And the ones who settle for less will resent you. That’s the problem. We were a culture of people ignorant about sex, but overall happier. Now we are bitter and lonely, and unafraid to hurt others so we… Read more »
3 months 10 days ago

I’d say just become a bit more playful. The sex can still be awesome i think, but if you need to be really filled at times either use a toy or better yet explore an open relationship. It takes a secure man to go that route, but the quality of a relationship is not defined by our monogamy. And you wouldn’t want men to advertise their penises sizes. A) it ruins the surprise, b) it will make it so cheap. If you need a guy who is really hung, just ask your friends.