My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Dear Em & Lo,

About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.


Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.  This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

Do you worry about the size of your package?
“15 Ways to Make the Most of Your Small Penis in Bed”

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745 Comments on "My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me"

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21 days 13 hours ago

Yep, if its a new relationship and the connection hasnt click find somebody that will make you happy. I went out with a chick 2nd date had sex…. I’m a above average guy and with this girl it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway…… Ok not that bad but it wasnt tight at all…. She had no tits and it wasnt tight…. I didnt enjoy myself and i stopped…. Sex is a big part of a relationship, test the waters and if you are not deeply in love with them its better to find someOne that matches you.

23 days 16 hours ago

I can’t believe what I am reading from some of you insecure “men” in the comments section. A woman has every right to have a preference and to like what she likes. I honestly believe everyone is compatible with someone else but sometimes people just aren’t. Nothing wrong with that.

Sex is a huge part of a relationship and if one of the participants is unhappy there is no reason to stick it out. This is perfectly fine as both people will go on to find happiness with someone else.

It’s absolutely disgusting to “Slut Shame” someone for liking something that they like. Its the same as being a homophobe, you are attracted to what you like, no changing that. In my experience women will always sleep with a guy with no sexual hang ups and is fun and wild in bed vs a guy that is totally neurotic.

My girl and I are completely statisfied together, she knows what she likes and if she wants to go to the sex store and buy a large toy I say “go as big as you like” I got no hangups with my size. She likes what she likes and I respect that.

1 month 29 days ago

Ladies have you ever though about this… It’s beat up … Sorry but we are not ment to use dildos and sleep around. I see that underlying problem is devotion it’s just a plain and simple fact if you had less lovers it would be tighter. I was once in love with the girl absolutely a 10.but she had been with so many dudes even at 7 inches with plenty of girth she was just to lose. Because of how much she masturbated with a dildo and how many she’s been with.

17 days 1 hour ago

First of all, that’s a bunch of crap about being tighter with less lovers. What about women who have had one lover for 20 years or longer and have sex 3-4 times a week??? Why would she stay tighter just because it’s been only one lover?? Stupid, stupid comment.

28 days 2 hours ago

Idk if you realize this but there really isn’t such a thing as a “tight vagina” it’s a proven fact that when a woman is “loose” she is turned on.

21 days 13 hours ago

I would have to disagree with that… been out with many girls and these is a big difference between tightness(vagina size)…. like massive. Yea it does loosen when excited but some pussys are just fucking black holes… i mean throwing a sausage in a hallway….. and im far above average…. i really fucking feel for the smaller guys…. Girls do some vagina exercises. Because blackholes are dangerous.

27 days 10 hours ago

“Tight” and “loose” are relative terms. Some women do indeed have tighter vaginas than others.

The myth is that the amount of sex a woman has determines her tightness or looseness.

1 month 28 days ago

KMBman, you might want to consider a mail-order bride website. Or maybe just a very realistic-looking Real Doll. That way you can be sure to customize a pristine, never-been-used vagina to suit your needs.

1 month 5 days ago

No one gave him the heads up that babies also come out of our elastic vaginas! They spring right back! I agree a tiny Asian bride for his tiny penis!

2 months 18 days ago

This is what truly mystifies me when it comes to relationships and men and women. Ladies you should know after the first few times of sleeping with a guy whether or not his dick will satisfy you. So then my question is why do you continue to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t meet your needs or requirements? Why do you allow the relationship to move forward? And men why do you allow a woman to define your self worth? Why do you continue to beat your head against a brick wall when nothing you have or do will be good enough? Why don’t you move on and find a woman who does appreciate your body and other qualities?

3 months 17 days ago

i won’t throw EVERY female under the bus, but I honestly don’t (YET) know ONE in my personal life who’s ever thought they’ve been “lost” in bed. It is all too common that you hear of Men being “eh” or just all together Bad in the sheets. I gotta tell ya ladies, the idea some women get about “how to work a penis” is just…. Incorrect to put it nicely. The idea that “you just tug and pull and that’s all there is to it” is so dead wrong. Why can it take a woman up to half hour to successfully blow you when I could use my HAND and get the job done in 5? I’ve actually faked pleasure before with a woman while she was on top. She THOUGHT she was doing it right, But my shrinking erection said otherwise. I had to improvise to keep it up. I loved her very much so I didn’t exactly want to pop the question, “what are you doing?” and hurt her. But girls, we Men can “protect” YOU as well. Your body may be sexy, and your face beautiful, but this will not make you a thrill in bed by default. Just as having a 4 ft. Penis will not automatically prevent a guy from being boring to sleep with. No Man anywhere would commit adultery if his wife slayed in the sack by default, simply because she has nice breasts.