My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Dear Em & Lo,

About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.


Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.  This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

Do you worry about the size of your package?
“15 Ways to Make the Most of Your Small Penis in Bed”

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1062 Comments on "My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me"

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This is an entertaining website. http://www.thevisualiser.net You can enter your cock size and compare it visually to other cocks. I compared my 6.5″ cock to a 3.5″ cock and I look like a porn star in comparison! Of course when I compare it to a 9″ cock it’s pretty humbling! When you see the size of a 9″ cock you can see how many women would find something that big painful. There is a wide range of dicks you can compare to….some based on real life porn stars, and those based upon statistical averages. I think for the majority of… Read more »

Well I HAVE to post this link I came across. It hits on many points I have brought up. You’ll see most women hated being with larger peens. You’ll see that most women have NO IDEA at what an “inch” is!!!! It’s hilarious really…most of these women are saying they’ve had 9″, 10″ and 11″ cocks!!! Are all these men now in porn!?
And you’ll see how much having a connection with their partner means to them and having a partner who’s interested in using various ways to give them sexual pleasure.


Perhaps women need to have their real breast size tatooed somewhere, so we’d know what’s really hiding under that WonderBra. I was on a business trip once before I got married and hooked up with a married woman looking for an experience away from home.

She seemed well built in clothes, but when her wonder bra came off, it revealed a very sad, saggy pair of tiny boobs. False advertisement.


Yeah but you could still experiemce pleasure from sex. If the penis is too small, so is the pleasure.


Nah, I couldn’t get excited. I had something in mind, and what I got was a really saggy small surprise. I had to keep looking away.

You know….my girlfriend told me that one guy she dated had an erect penis the size of her thumb. I just looked at her, and said “really”? And she said yes. I asked her what she thought and she said: “I thought this guy must really be good in other ways to make up for his lack of size”. She was actually looking forward to what he was going to bring to the table , or bring to the dance. But she was extremely disappointed. She said he was an awful lover and it was just not because of his… Read more »
I often wonder if many women see “big” differently than men do? I think most of us guys would say anything over 8″ is getting into big territory. But I think many women might see it differently. Case in point…I was on a first date with a woman (I’m 58 and she was 55). Had a great connection during the evening…lot’s of laughs, lot’s of connection, just felt completely comfortable. Somehow the talk turned to penis size. She said something about liking a big cock. I replied…well sorry, I’m just averaged sized. She replied….well that’s disappointing. I said….really? Well there… Read more »
I think there is just too much focus on penis size. Clearly over the last 20 years that focus has grown into an obsession. And very seldom are obsessions healthy. To all the women and men who are size queens….do you think your size obsession will help you find a loving, caring and committed partner? I think your partner would want to be valued for others reasons and not just for having a horse cock. And have you ever stopped to think about that your size requirements might actually sabotage your relationship? How could it sabotage your relationship? Well I’m… Read more »
You know what I find pretty amusing? It’s how “cold” some of the women on here are. Men always get accused of being cold, or unemotional, etc. Yet in the comments you see the opposite. You see MANY men expressing sympathy and empathy for a small dicked man. They’re not making jokes, or attacking them for being less of a man. Yet many women on here are doing just that. Are some women using this as a form of revenge, a way to hit back at men they feel have wronged them in the past? Anyway…I just found it interesting… Read more »