My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Dear Em & Lo,

About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.


Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.  This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

Do you worry about the size of your package?
“15 Ways to Make the Most of Your Small Penis in Bed”

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772 Comments on "My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me"


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Jav Mora
Jav Mora
25 days 1 hour ago

I am on of those 4-6 guys. but it is very thick. get compliments all the time about how thick it is. so i am not one bit worry about my size. i do get complaints that after a while the females vagina is a lot wider than before.

Small Junk
Small Junk
1 month 3 days ago

I lost my virginity to a girl who would tell me I didn’t measure up to her precvious baby arm boy friend and later spent 3 years in a committed relationship with a young 19 year old who let me know just how inadequate my 5.5 inches were.

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1 month 9 days ago

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1 month 21 days ago

Why so many Vote Downs for SvenD?? I have a 4 inch penis and am also in a cuckold marriage. It’s been great for both of us! I love women that prefer larger men

1 month 23 days ago

I don’t understand why everyone is bashing her for her concern. Men may not want to hear it but size does matter. If you’re too small (6′ and less in my opinion) it simply is not as enjoyable for some women (myself included). We do not have large vaginas we simply enjoy the “full” feeling a challenge of a bigger penis. Sex is subjective and different for everyone but I think it’s crazy that’s theirs such a double standard. Men can lust after women with big breast or big butts but women can’t list after the opposing male genitals???

9 days 18 hours ago

Here’s a key difference: Small breasts can be surgically enhanced if desired. Butts can be made more athletic through exercise. But no such option exists for the penis. We can’t surgically enhance it. We can’t make it’s erect size larger through exercise, or drugs. There is no option to do something to improve size that would satisfy a person who cares only about size. But by all means please go on equating issues with breast size as the same as issues with penis size.

8 days 9 hours ago

A silly comparison, true: tits are ornamental whereas the penis is a man’s primary tool.

… however, Chocolate wasn’t comparing tits to dicks. She was comparing lust for tits with lust for dicks. The double standard, she’s saying, is that men consider their lust for a certain type of female body normal, but get butt-hurt when it turns out that women too have preferences regarding the male body.

Point stands.

1 month 12 days ago

Well I have a small penis and can totally understand that some women would enjoy the full feeling that I can’t give.
Maybe most women just feel a bit shy to express their preference?

1 month 14 days ago

This is a dumb comparison.. a woman with bigger breasts isn’t going to feel any different sexually because of it. Even if it isn’t true I wonder why you can’t at least console these lesser men by allowing the possibility you probably have a bigger than average vagina to fit your preference.

3 months 14 days ago

The size is not what matter, The smaller organ has a much greater erectile capacity than the larger one. The size of the flaccid or erect penis has absolutely nothing to do with its pleasure-giving qualities. The vagina has a great deal of elasticity and it can adapt to any size of the male organ, be it large or small. And finally, if you think a man is a man cause he guzzles beer or was born with a larger-than-thine appendage, think again. Can’t you see, Sir, the sands of time are dribbling through the hourglass?!

3 months 29 days ago

My wife is cuckolding me. I really do not mind, since I love her and want her to be sexually fulfilled. This is just one area where I cannot help her (mine is just short of 4″). Why risk that she might start cheating. She has a fbuddy that she sees once a week and everyone is happy