Your Call: Is Backdoor Play Gay?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your response in the comments section below.

For a while now my girlfriend and I have been enjoying anal play, both of us giving and receiving, even with toys. My question is: is this ethically wrong on my part or hers? I mean we both get pretty turned on by it. I always thought gay men did anal so does that mean I’m gay? I love my girlfriend and love being with her and never dream of another guy — yuck! Plus, she likes feeling in control. She told a couple of her girlfriends and now they want to find a guy like me who is open to exploring what a man’s body can actually do. Am I just over-thinking this or are we seriously goofy?

This one is obviously a gimme.

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11 Comments on "Your Call: Is Backdoor Play Gay?"

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Before I answer if anal play makes you gay, answer me this:

Does going down on your girlfriend make you a lesbian?


As the people above have stated, asking if this is “gay” is pretty ridiculous. Lot’s of people do it these days – my wife and I included. I’m not gay – althought I would love to try it with a guy – so I guess I kind of am. O’well.


OMGoddess, just enjoy!

Toys Couples

Just can’t get enough of your blog; Seriously HOT!


assplay is not gay unless you are. you’re not the only one whos into this, i promise. even if you did fantasize about a dude doing it to you, doesnt have to mean you are gay either. maybe just a little bit.


When will people stop worrying if something is “gay” or “straight”. I believe sexuality comes in shades of gray. If it feels good and you are with a consenting partner how can it be ethnically wrong?


HA! Well, there are 2 questions in this letter:

(1) Is this behavior gay?

(2) Is gay behavior unethical?

These are both ridiculous questions. Honestly.