5 Ways to Make Masturbation Even Better

EMandLO.com contributor Jewely Hoxie, who is studying Human Sexuality at the University of California Santa Cruz – you can read her blog here – has a confession to make:

I think we can all agree now that plenty of women enjoy masturbation at least as much as men. But the way women enjoy masturbation can vary widely — and many need a bit of extra help getting themselves in the mood. I like to think that my masturbation dates deserve just as much seduction as my partner explorations. So here are my 5 suggestions for fashioning an unforgettable night in with yourself:

  1. Mood Music. I have an iTunes playlist covertly entitled ‘rr’ for rabbit rock (named after my rabbit vibrator, naturally). Every time I find a song that would be a good romp session anthem, I add it to my self-loving rr soundtrack. This is also fun because later when you hear one of the songs — at a party, say, or in the supermarket — you are reminded of those same tingles you felt before and it becomes a private inside joke with yourself.
  2. A good sex toy. I have become a kind of connoisseur of sex toys over the years and have found that a quality vibrator will always do the trick. I am a firm believer that one size (and shape) does not fit all when it comes to sex toys, so it’s up to you to find what you like. Experiment and explore. You and your sex toy will make for the ultimate tryst.
  3. Fantasy fucking. Sometimes I will turn to porn, sometimes music, but when all else fails, a wild fantasy can never do me wrong. Our brains are one of the most powerful sex organs and masturbation is the best way to exercise our creativity. Try to stay conscious of the things that turn you on throughout the day in order to better discover your own sexual appetite and use it as material for a future self love session.
  4. The freedom to be loud. My usual go-to noise canceling option is to have my vibrator under the sheets and to breathe my heavy breaths into a pillow. However, once I get to know my roommate’s class or work schedules, I find myself enjoying more home-alone time. When you don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing (or walking in on) your bliss and buzz noises, you can let yourself go and ultimately feel your orgasm much bigger and better.
  5. Tuning in to yourself. This is a little more abstract compared to the rest and probably much more vital. I close my eyes and take full breaths. I make sure to be very conscious of every part of my body. It’s important to be completely engaged by all your senses. What do your sheets feel like? What does your skin feel like? (Moisturize with sensual lotions if your answer is “scaly.”) What can you smell? (Light some candles if your answer to that question isn’t pleasant.) What does your breathing sound like? And so on. Remember that loving your body, physically and emotionally, is key to getting pleasure from it.

Jewely Hoxie


  1. Maybe we enjoy masturbation because our spouse just aren’t into sex with us anymore, or they are always just too tired? Hmm.. nothing wrong with that. At least your not out cheating.
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  2. If masturbation is haraam act, what is corruption now? Masturbation involves just u alone. Corruption involves u and very many people. U alone pocket what belong to very many ppl. How about arm robbery? Kidnapping? Terorrisim? How on earth can masturbation be offense? Afterall, u do it in the privacy of ur home or in private. Anyone who sees u masturbate in ur privacy has actually committed seriously punishable offence. It is criminal to break into the privacy of anyone. Why do u think that police obtain search warrant before they enter ur house? And they dont enter without your consent(awareness). So, what u do wit ur body, in ur closet is entirely ur responsibilty. Enjoy ur God-given body but please DO NOT COMMIT ANY CRIME!

  3. my sex desire is to make love atleast 3 times a day…. more over i love talking dirty & fanticising sex all the day during even my working hours.
    my partners sex desire is too low
    she doesn’t like it more than once a week.

    she doesnt enjoy talking about sex or sexy jokes or she doesnt allow me to fondle her,

    i cant aford to have another partner.

    thats the only solution for me

  4. I’m a lady scorpion,born under the sign of brown horse…since i’m afraid of diseases and unwanted pregnancy,its been years since i become responsible for my own orgasm… :)there’s no difference between a man and woman doing it.just as you don’t need a man, so with masturbation, you can have it or not have it..

  5. I am a scorpio male, Have always enjoyed sex with wife.Average 2 or 3 times a week.Have turned 60 and sex is once a week.Materbation has always been extra and as many times as sex.

  6. Masturbation and exploration of your own body is awesome you cant have true pleasure from anything or anyone unless you truly figure out what you really like and what pleases your body the most. Plus it can also help please your partner better to by opening up new things to explore with them.

  7. Maybe we enjoy masterbation because our spouse just arent into sex with us anymore, or they are always just to tired? Hmm.. nothing wrong with that. At least your not out cheating.

  8. I agree with Rrrrusty…. your sign has nothing to do with what you like sexually. I am a cancer that doesnt change the fact that I love my toys and a real man, and at times at the same time. This story has given me some great tips to help make my alone time better though. Thanks!!!

  9. First of all, you “sign” has nothing to do with whether or not you enjoy masturbation. Masturbation is a healthy, wonderful and intimate experience with one’s self. Society has taught you to be ashamed of wanting pleasure. Masturbation is one of my favorite things and these tips are great way to make it even more pleasurable

  10. I’m a Scorpio as well and I enjoy sex with my partner as well as myself. You don’t have to choose one or another. It’s personal preference,and as Dannie said, you don’t have to understand it.

  11. i dont understand why do males and females feel that they have to masturbate often as they do when they have a partner im a scorpio and i love to have sex not with my fingers.

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