Comment of the Week: Stop the Presses! Women Have Libidos!

photo by Ranjit Laxman Photography

We got a lot of thoughtful, interesting responses to the Wise Guys column “What If Her Libido Is Higher Than His?” that yes, many women do have higher libidos than men and no, they’re not nymphos. We can’t post them all, so just go read the comments section. Below is the comment from Jen that got the most votes to be featured here:


I’ve kept this tab open for a long time on my window thinking of how to write this.

I think this is a load of bullocks. I am married and I think it is safe to say my sex drive is much higher than my husbands. And no my husband does not hang halfway over urinals, nor is his genitals damaged by any of my doing. Thanks for making me sound like a wild animal though, that’s really encouraging to allow women to have a libido.

With that here’s a glimpse at our life.

Our sex life is great, the two of us have a very open communication of what feels good and what feels great. However we both also know when the other is too tired for sex. More than not its me knowing when my other needs a break. Having sex is not a chore my husband has to check off his list, but an experience we both enjoy, a lot. I must tell the truth he looks forward to that week of cramps and menstruation because sex is the furthest thing from my mind and he gets a “break” but sure enough after only four days he’s still pawing at me. Sure there are at times a feeling for him to preform, but it comes with the awareness of his current needs and my libido. It would be outrageous to think that every time I wanted sex I would get it, much like it is outrageous to think that every time a man wants sex the woman *must* put out. And I think that outrageous statement is what is behind these “advice answers.” There needs to be room in a relationship for a woman to say, “No” just as much as there needs to be room in a relationship for a man to say, “I’m too tired.” And in my relationship there’s plenty of room for that, along with acceptance, commitment, and consent.

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