Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. If you’ve got a good one, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg just might tell you what it means! Click here to submit yours (18 and older only for dream interpretations, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I have vivid dreams all the time (and on occasion a bit of sexsomnia according to the husband). Last night’s was particularly enjoyable, kind of wish it was real.
I was me now, 30 years old, but with a man who was my teacher when I was at school. He’s not that old, only 11 years older than me. Anyway in my dream somehow we met up, we were in his house with the threat of his wife walking in at anytime, we’d get going and keep getting interrupted, I’m not sure we got to finish. It was basically an S&M fantasy, pulling my hair telling me what to do, very Secretary, something I’ve always fancied trying.
Was this simply a dream to be taken at face value or is there more to it? I kind of wish I hadn’t dreamt it, reminds me what I’m missing out on as my husband is not interested in trying anything new, let alone that.
Lauri: This is one of those dreams that can be taken at face value but also has a bonus hidden meaning! Our dreams have a cool way of compensating for what we don’t feel we are getting in waking life. When we are in the midst of a dream (usually) we do not realize it is a dream and believe what we are experiencing is real. The brain gives us these dream experiences for two reasons: 1. As a pressure release, and 2. As a way to keep us focused on a particular goal. For example, if you desperately want to lose 20, 30 pounds, you’re likely to find yourself looking like Megan Fox sporting a hot pink bikini in your dreams. That dream experience is so pleasurable for you that it creates a waking desire to make it a reality. Manifesting, if you will.
That being said, your dream experience not only made you realize what you are missing out on but also gave you some good advice in the form of your teacher! Your dreaming mind is showing you that you may need to look at your husband’s unwillingness as merely naivety. He just doesn’t know yet that this is something he could enjoy. He doesn’t know yet how to let go of his inhibitions. you need to teach him how! He needs to learn that sex can be a playground and not a routine. I believe the interruptions in your dream represent the protests you believe your husband has to this S&M idea that need to be addressed. S&M can be a bit much for a beginner. Why not teach him that new ideas in the bedroom can be fun by taking on the roles of naughty teacher and curious student? That’s a gentle enough first lesson in roleplay. Take it one lesson at a time (and one shot of Grey Goose at a time if you have to!) until he graduates to the whips and chains!
This is not a fantasy in the USA – it is compulsory
Oh it were my wife dreaming i would duck her5 times.
If I were your husband, I would LOVE to hear about these fantasies. Bringing your lust to fruition would be something to work at, like a goal for me to achieve.