If You’re Unsatisfied, Speak Up!

Reader Joanne had this to say in response to the post My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm”:

I have been married for over 20 years and I now have the man of my dreams. It wasn’t always like that though. We had a great relationship and good sex, but he could be selfish at times. In the early years, if I said something to him about him not satisfying me, he would turn it around and make me feel like the selfish one.

I finally got wise and realized we had a communication problem. I was determined to have him see it my way. It just wasn’t right that I was always concerned with pleasing him, but he wasn’t always concerned with pleasing me. For a few years we had many discussions, arguments and even a few blow-ups. This might sound extreme, but it broke down the wall. He needed to see that it wasn’t just the lack of satisfaction that was affecting me, but it was the fact that he didn’t seem to care. It was just as much about my feelings as it was about the sex.

Well, I finally got through to him. We have the most open and honest communication now. It has strengthened our intimacy one thousand times over. He always tries to satisfy me now. In fact, he’s not satisfied until I’m satisfied. If you want a relationship like this you MUST open those lines of communication. It’s painful at first, but the reward is worth it.

Want some more specific ways to talk about this topic?
6 Ways to Address Waning Sex in a Relationship