Question of the Week: How Long Should Intercourse Last?

photo via flickr

Hey, hey, it’s a brand new feature on our site! Occasionally, we’ll ask you guys an impertinent question, and you can share your answer in the comments section below. Feel free to share your age, gender, relationship status, sexuality, etc., if you feel that it’s relevant to the answer. So, this week’s question:

How long should intercourse last for, ideally? Forget foreplay, forget oral, forget all the other stuff that makes sex sex — we just want to know what your personal preference is for the old in-out.

(“None” is a perfectly acceptable answer, by the way!) Oh, and please do explain your answer, list exceptions, blah blah blah.

Okay… dish!


  1. We can get it done with a quickie in about 10 minutes, or we can last about an hour and a half…all depends on the mood. I have to say, I think we both prefer the hour and a half! It’s awesome to spend that much time being intimate with my sexy hubby.

    Lately we are varying positions and have found a love for lingerie and it’s brought the sexy to a whole new level. Our sex has increased from about 1 or 2 times a week to more like 4-5 times a week. For example, tonight, me on the kitchen counter, then bent over a desk, wearing a corset and a miniskirt. It was fantastic!!!

    Not bad for 7 years married and having a 2 year old, huh?!

  2. It doesn’t matter if there is foreplay or not because he feels incredible. 5 minutes. I am 13yrs married to my second husband-THE love of my life, have 5 children, 2 son-in-laws and 5 grandkids. Yes, I fell-in-love at first sight and his is still my eye-candy and would only want to have an affair with him 😉

  3. I think people here are describing their DREAMS, not reality. Most women will tell you they are lucky to get 10 minutes of foreplay, followed by 6 more minutes of intercourse. So the hour+ comments are optimistic, to say the least!

    The truth is that you don’t need hour after hour of intercourse to please a woman. If you are good at providing sexual pleasure, a woman will have an orgasm when the man climaxes. But, there lies the problem. You need to be good at providing sexual pleasure!

    The best sex ALWAYS begins with an opportunity to bond emotionally. This is ESSENTIAL for women and quite necessary for many men, too. You bond with a woman by reassuring her that she is valued and cared for. Yes, even in a one-night-stand, you can make the woman feel secure and make her feel like you actually like her, instead of just treating her as if she is just a warm body with a vagina.

    If you fail to build an emotional connection with the woman’s mind, she may still enjoy the sex. But, she will be left feeling empty and possibly even ashamed, afterwards. She will feel as though she doesn’t matter at all. You only needed her body for her breasts and her vagina, nothing more. And, that is a terrible way to leave her feeling. It’s little wonder that women put up roadblocks, as a defense mechanism. Can you blame them?

    It’s so easy to bond with a woman and make her feel cared for. Typically, I let her lie on top on my, her head on my shoulder. I pull her tightly to me for many long minutes and gently caress her head and face, in the dark. Sometimes, I whisper endearments, too. But, the act of holding her tightly, clinging to her almost, in the dark, gives her a sense of security and reassurance that she is valued as a person, rather than just for her body. The gentle caresses are loving, rather than sexual.

    Without this emotional connection, you are fighting an uphill battle, if you want to please her. All the sex in the world won’t matter if you leave the woman feeling empty and used inside. Most guys have no recognition of this, and that is why they have it hard with women. Nurture a woman’s emotional requirements first, before you progress to sex. I enjoy the connection too, because I’m much more than just an orgasm for a woman. I actually like the women that I have sex with, so the connection comes naturally.

    Foreplay is essential too. Women love it when they have a long, erotic build-up to a climax. They love to have a man who explores their body gently and erotically. Conway Twitty wrote a song about this, called Slow Hand. “You want a man with a slow hand, you want a lover with an easy touch.” If I wasn’t here, I could write 10,000 words and still not tell you everything I know about foreplay. It’s an acquired skill.

    You can move on to cunnilingus, or use clitoral vibrators to enhance the woman’s pleasure, if you wish. Remember, the MORE stimulation that you provide, the closer she will be to her climax when intercourse begins.

    Intercourse itself is also an art. You do NOT just want to hop on, plunge in and begin pounding away like a jackhammer. It’s best to start slow, and make her feel every single millimeter of the penetration. Inside, you can do kegel squeezes, to further arouse her. You always want to remember that clitoral stimulation is critical, so you want to do a bump-and-grind action, to provide that.

    Most women love domination, especially during intercourse, so a handful of hair is not out of line, provided that you are not causing pain. You want to take her like an animal. That’s the way she wishes to feel, occasionally. It’s not hard to time a simultaneous climax. You can watch the woman and see where she’s at. You can feel her movements and listen to her sounds. And, you can ease up and slow down, if needed, to match her own arousal.

    In the end, of course, you can put a lot of intensity into the intercourse. I’ve had woman who are surprisingly strong, who wrap their legs around me and work just as hard as I do.

    If you do all the preliminary build-up, you can bring a woman to a fantastic climax that leaves her shivering and convulsing with whole-body contractions for long minutes afterwards. And, you can do that with just 10 to 15 minutes of intercourse. For me, that works well, since my stomach muscles are just about done at that time.

    So, there’s your answer. It should last long enough for the both of you to achieve at least one intense climax. About 10 to 15 minutes. Any less, and she won’t get the good, intense intercourse that she desires. And, any more and she will start getting chafed and sore and begin hoping that you finish soon.

    There are a million more things I could explain, everything from erotic conversation to proper use of lubricants. But, this comment is getting a bit long, and I’ve already given you a number. So, this will have to do!

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