Comments
Confessions
“Stop Relying on Your Dick to Please a Woman”

Apologies if we seem to be beating off a dead horse here: our last Comment of the Week was related to penis size, as well. But we can’t help it! This topic gets some of the best, most thoughtful and helpful responses from our amazingly enlightened readers. Behold,  RodR‘s smart reconceptualization of sex: I think […]

Confessions
“Below Average Penis Size Is NOT a Character Flaw”

Our post “My Boyfriend Has a Small Penis….At Least, It’s Small to Me” has the most comments of anything on EMandLO.com — almost 1000! And they just keep coming. Not all of them are helpful . . . or sane. So it’s nice when we get a tempered voice of reason. This week it was […]

Confessions
A Straight Man’s Take on Rape Culture

As usual, Johnny had something thoughtful to say. This past week it was about rape culture, thanks to the Stanford rape case in the news: You know… as a straight man you think “rape culture” is bullshit when you learn about it. You believe that a tiny percentage of men are rapists, and since they’re sociopaths, there’s no […]

Confessions
Like Rare White Antelopes, There ARE Men Who Don’t Watch Porn

Reader Corrinne recently responded to a comment by Madamoiselle L on the post “I’m Put Out About His Porn.” First L’s comment, followed by Corrinne’s: Plehay said: “I’ve had very serious conversations with my boyfriend about why I am against the use of porn in lieu of human contact or communication, and the content that […]

Confessions
The Most Disturbing Comment This Site Has Ever Received!

After over fifteen years in this business, we’ve seen and heard a lot. There was the couple asking about how they could get their golden retriever to consensually have sex with the wife while the husband watched. There was the morgue worker wondering if he could get STDs from the corpses. There was the “gentleman” Em […]

Comment of the Week
Should You Ask Out a Coworker? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself First

The following is a very thoughtful, thorough response to our post “Should He Hit on a Coworker?” from reader Barbara Arthur, a self-proclaimed “middle-aged female who used to work in career-oriented management positions but now chooses to work ‘just a regular job’ because she thinks management jobs suck (so thinks she can offer various perspectives).” […]

Comment of the Week
3 Rules to Follow When Buying a Sex Toy for Your Girlfriend/Wife

MILC had some good advice for straight men looking to surprise their girlfriends with a sex toy gift for the first time: Avoid those huge toy makers that put porn stars on the boxes. You want something that’s easy on the eyes, comes in nice, inoffensive packaging, and is high quality. So anything by Fun […]

Confessions
My Kung Fu Is Strong Against Your Pro-Polyamory Arguments

We have two companion posts, one called “Top 10 Reasons for Being – and Staying – Monogamous,” the other called “Top 10 Reasons for Being — and Staying — NON-Monogamous.” We intended each as encouragement for those people who prefer to be in their particular kind of relationship, not as indictments of one another. But home-team loyalty runs […]

Confessions
Don’t Call Yourself a Slut

Reader “Don” had this to say in response to our post “How Many Partners Officially Makes You a Slut?” While we can see the benefits of reclaiming the word and wearing it as a badge of honor, we also appreciate, like Don, the importance of not using it any self-denigrating way, however subtly: Once, a close friend described […]

Confessions
Size Does Not Correlate with Pleasure

We can never resist a feel-good, body-positive, you-go-boy! comment. This one is from Olatunji in response to the article “My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me“: The size is not what matters. The smaller organ has a much greater erectile capacity than the larger one. The size of the flaccid […]

Confessions
Why Some Men Aren’t Interested in Women’s Pleasure

Jenny Bean had a thoughtful (and somewhat depressing) response to the post “My Husband Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm“: I think society tells us girls early in life that we shouldn’t want sex, sex is bad. Girls that do like sex or God forbid have a sex drive [are] slu**s, who**s, etc. Men […]

Confessions
Sometimes You Just Have to Walk Away from a Marriage Over Sex

BigDudesStealMonkeys had a very thoughtful response to a vanilla woman married to a secretly kinky (and cheating) husband: I have a daughter, and I would be happy with her doing anything that made HER happy. If that’s BDSM, then so be it. Some people enjoy that type of playful sex, and who the hell are […]

Confessions
Is Rape Natural?

Sometimes a reader comment demands more than just a “thumbs down” or a two-sentence rebuttal.  Sometimes it warrants its own full-length post. J Male’s recent response to “Why Women Have Ravishment and Rape Fantasies” was one such comment. Our reply is below his: “Rape fantasies were a way [for women] to avoid taking blame for their […]

Confessions
The Best Butt Sex Philosophy: Your Booty, Your Business

Chuck is our kind of guy. In fact, he’s the kind of guy we’re hoping to create more of with this here site and all its post on anal play. He recently commented on one — “Do Most Straight Men Secretly Love Bum Play?” — and made us proud: I’m married, straight, and really like it! If […]

Confessions
What to Say to a Partner Who Wants to Get Kinkier Than You Do

Reader bklynbug said the following in response to our post “Your Call: He’s Kinky, She’s Vanilla, Is the Relationship Doomed?” One word: dialog. You say he’s mentioned it a few times, but it doesn’t sound like the two of you have really sat down and talked. Seriously. Clothes on, at the kitchen table, cards all […]

How To
6 Ways to Address Waning Sex in a Relationship

Today’s Comment of the Week comes from two different readers who had such wise advice on the topic of one partner’s decreasing libido in a fairly new relationship, we combined them into a top 5 list!:  [From “J”] It is normal for passion and sex to decrease as a relationship progresses. Our bodies and brains […]