The Virgin Diaries: The Top 10 Pros of Virginity
Our contributor Katherine Chen, once an English major at Princeton University (check out her personal site here), penned a series of confessions for EMandLO.com collectively called “The Virgin Diaries.” Here’s her eighth installment. Her ninth is Top 10 Cons of Virginity:
- If my period skips a month, it’s a cause for celebration, not despair. Living without the fear of becoming pregnant from my choices is extremely liberating.
- I don’t shoot up and I’m not worried about blood transfusions, so gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV, AIDS, etc, have nothing over me.
- I can still imagine my first time being a mind-blowing sexual encounter (replete with orgasms and possibly even female ejaculation) rather than knowing it was a disappointment (like many of my non-virgin friends).
- From what I’ve gathered, college sex is not the most satisfying — with women’s orgasms and even pleasure not high on the list of many a male co-ed.
- By this point, I’m pretty much immune to any potential sexual peer pressure, and won’t easily give into doing anything I’m uncomfortable with.
- It makes my mom happy and helps keep the peace between us. She enjoys having bragging rights about her “virginal daughter,” and never fails to bring it up with family and friends.
- My heart is break-proof right now. I haven’t placed myself in a position of emotional risk by having sex with a man I might not realize doesn’t actually care for me.
- Being a virgin gives me the objective, outsider perspective on sex and relationships, which is invaluable when it comes to helping friends sort out their personal issues.
- You can be sexual without having partner sex (and suffering all its inherent risks). Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I blush at the thought of sex or wear white on a daily basis. Believe it or not, I enjoy masturbation, porn, and the occasional dirty joke.
- I get to write The Virgin Diaries!
Dont let all the non-virgins degrade this
They’re jealous because they lost it.
Remember men LOVE virgins 😉
Hahahaha, you think your heart is break-proof because you’re a virgin? Does being a virgin also make you an idiot?
Also, sex in a relationship is NOT the biggest factor in heartbreak. In my experience, things like ‘cheating’ and ‘lying’ counted more than what we did between the sheets. Giving someone your heart is a much bigger deal than opening up your legs.
^ That makes you a willing virgin, not an unwilling one.
6 is higly creepy! and disturbing!
But I get what she is saying especially 7, yes I have had my heart broken but if I had had sex with them it would have been 10x harder and I think that’s what she means.
The only thing I regret is that she did not include her reason for staying a virgin. I am an unwilling virgin, but that’s only because I have not found anyone that I know I will not regret. And as much as I hate admitting this, It depresses me. But I can’t lose it just because, I have standards. Sadly, a lot of men now a days are just not worth it so being an unwilling virgin is still a better bet.
I absolutely agree with everything on that list except numbers 6 and 7…I wouldn’t want my mom going around telling everyone I am a virgin…that’s MY private information. As for 7, being a virgin doesn’t necessarily guarantee one from not getting their heart broken. I know, being a virgin myself, I have had relationships with men, who I have trusted and cared for, men who have only disappointed, hurt and rejected me, and I never had sex with any of them. The author of this list must not be allowing herself to get emotionally attached to/or involved with men–having sex with someone and being emotionally involved with that person aren’t the same thing. So though I am a virgin, I have had my “heart ripped out of my chest” (broken) by men so many times, that I have decided that I won’t be having sex for the first time until my wedding night, that is with my husband, whomever he may be.
I don’t necessarily agree with all your points, but I totally agree with #5. I’m a virgin myself, the last one out there, as I joke around sometimes because ALL of my immediate friends in college aren’t virgins anymore.
Being the last one out there and not freaking out about it is nothing short of amazing. Maybe, if it were someone else in my position, she would be in a state of panic right now. My friends and I talk a lot about sex and even though I’m a virgin, I’m not a prude, I talk back. I’m 21 years old and I’m not waiting for marriage or Prince Charming. I’m just waiting for a partner that makes me feel safe, that respects me and that turns me on. And I don’t want to settle for less. If that partner comes as a boyfriend or as a fling, I’m okay with both. But I will not settle for anything less than those three aspects, safety, respect and well, chemistry!
There are indeed pros to being a virgin. Such as not worrying about pregnancy, or skipping a pill, learning how to ignore peer pressure, learning to know my own body and the things that I like and don’t like and being in control of when I’m losing my virginity.
The author of this article is misinformed about transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. HPV is not only transmitted through sexual intercourse. There are other ways (including kissing) it is transmitted.
I applaud people who are virgins for ideology. It keeps them out of the gene pool for as long as possible.
Say “no” to premarital sex.
God bless us.
Really? I’m glad its so liberating for you but I cannot wait to loose my virginity!
Help, help, help, please help this woman to have a little cock before she finally settle down.
All I can do is *facepalm.*
Really? She believes this? Any of it?
I had my heart broken LONG before I ever had sex. The more she thinks her “first time” is going to be phenomenal, the less likely it will be. Some “college guys” actually are GOOD at sex. Her mom….? OMG. Creepy. She’s an adult, her sex life is NONE of her mother’s business. Again, is her mom proud of the porn and the masturbation? Everyone who has HAD sex knows both sides of the coin, virgins CANNOT know what it is like to have a real sex life, with….other people… NO she cannot be “more objective” than the sexually sophisticated. Pregnancy and disease can be prevented with birth control, that’s why most people find BC “liberating.”
No, people NOT attacking her for being a virgin, they are upset at her delusional stance on things she is not experienced in. This list sounds like excuse making to me.
*sigh*
@emandlo reminds us that these are HER OPINIONS and no one else’s. So although we may not agree with them, that doesn’t make them any less true to her. But I do have a question. Do you have a legitimate reason for why you are a virgin? If so, I would really be interested to know why, if not for religious reasons. It’s always refreshing to hear someone else’s reasoning.
@philipp, actually if it were a really crappy post, i doubt it would generate so much discussion. i think really crappy posts are ones that churn out what everyone wants to hear.
@emandlo: I think people are not criticizing her for being virgin, but only for the proclaimed reasons. And, yes, it is a valid point to state that most of those reasons are either unbelievable, delusional or plain creepy. My honest belief is that none of them are the actual reasons why she is doing it.
See it as a positive thing for you, guys. Your readers are expecting more quality from this web site. I am sure in Cosmo this article would not have met much controversy (at least quality-wise) 🙂