We once met a woman who claimed (quite proudly, we might add), “I’ve always had dick, so I don’t need to masturbate.” Our eyes bulged, our jaws dropped, our ears began to bleed a little. How could she utter such scandalous words in the 21st century? Women should masturbate! We tried desperately to explain that it’s not about “need” but about “want”. Take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure and be your own sexual agent. Figure out for yourself what you like instead of always leaving it up to somebody else. We begged her to see the light, and then we begged her to buy a vibrator. (See: 10 Toys Every Girl Should Have in Her Treasure Chest.)
Why Some Women Don’t Masturbate
There are myriad reasons why this particular lost soul might cling to such an antiquated notion:
- Maybe her mom caught her touching her “naughty place” when she was little, freaked out and told her to “Stop that right now!” And from then on she always considered masturbation to be a social no-no, like stealing someone else’s doll or picking her nose.
- Maybe no one ever taught her how to do it . Most sex education is pretty inadequate when it comes to making women feel comfortable with and knowledgeable about their own bodies. (Lesson #1: the sexual equivalent of the penis is not the vagina, but the wonderful clitoris!)
- Or worse, maybe someone passed onto her some “wisdom” from the previous century, like these misconceptions: That masturbation is an uncivilized, animalistic endeavor that is beneath refined human beings. That clitoral stimulation is a poor woman’s substitute for the “perfect” pleasure of a man’s inserted penis. That “excessive” masturbation could damage the vagina, nerve endings or even reproductive capabilities. That any kind of sexual act that can’t result in reproduction is a sin. That women don’t have sexual needs or desires quite like men. Or that masturbation is for single, sad, desperate, lonely losers who can’t get a date on Friday night.
The list of possible reasons for this woman not getting to know herself intimately goes on and on…
Why ALL Women Should Masturbate
But still, there are so many more reasons why she, and all those like her, should get it on with themselves:
- First of all, it’s just plain good for you. The World Association for Sexual Health, an international organization of sexologists dedicated to sexual rights, has stated, “Sexual pleasure, including autoeroticism [masturbation], is a source of physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual well being.”
- In fact some studies suggest that denying yourself can do more harm than good. (We’ll refrain from making any tasteless Catholic priest jokes here).
- According to one study, women who do the electric boogaloo with sex toys achieve higher levels of sexual desire, higher levels of sexual satisfaction, and higher rates of success in achieving orgasm!
- Masturbation also releases endorphins, those chemicals that create an all-natural high and help fight the blues.
- And orgasms can relieve menstrual cramps and PMS.
- Plus, the involuntary workout your pelvic floor gets from regular stimulation will only aid future genital health.
So trade in your an apple a day for a diddle a day.
Why All Women Should Masturbate Even When They’re in a Relationship
And the benefits of masturbation don’t suddenly disappear once you’re no longer single. You don’t give up the morning paper, ladies’ nights, or going to the gym when you’re in a relationship, so why would you sacrifice self love?
- First of all, getting to your happy place on your own is the first step toward orgasming with a partner: the better you know your body, the better directions you can give. And chances are, he’ll have more luck following your instructions with his fingers than with his penis.
- Secondly, self-loving provides a booster shot to your libido, making you want partner sex more.
- It develops your sexual sensitivity and trains your nerves to respond more efficiently.
- Finally, while masturbating alone, you may feel more comfortable indulging in some of your naughtier fantasies. Especially those that don’t include your current partner. And especially if you feel at all guilty about those fantasies. (For the record, you shouldn’t. But acting on them? Now that’s a different story).
Every woman should know how to get herself off. It’s a basic life skill that ranks right up there with boiling an egg, writing a CV and using a diva cup.
At the very least, it’s the easiest way to get sex whenever you want it, however you want it.
What more reason do you need?