Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Do most straight guys secretly want to have their bums explored by their girlfriends/wives? Like, even if they don’t admit it, and they’d never ask…deep down, are they curious?
Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): When they’re together, straight guys tend to avoid anything that could sound even remotely homosexual. Not even a metro guy will tell his buddies how much he enjoyed the ass-play he got last night. This makes it hard to gauge how many butt-buffs there really are out there, but for me I can easily say no. No curiosity, no secret enjoyment. I’m probably in the minority here, but to me it’s sort of like a stray finger up the nose while making out: not terrible, but not particularly exciting either — just off-target.
Straight Married Guy (Jamie): I really think this has to do with the guy’s own level of homophobia. If the guy is open-minded and comfortable in his masculinity, then it’s just something else to try in the bedroom. However, I personally know a few guys who are otherwise pretty sexually adventurous, but who feel that any attempted ass play from their partners is a deal-breaker. Of course, these are the same guys who still think it’s funny to make “fag” jokes about each other in public. I think, for guys like this, asking for some anal attention would be too big of a threat to their warped sense of masculinity.
Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): Let’s face it: The prostate is the prostate. Your nerve endings don’t care whether you like to have sex with boys or girls; when something feels good, it feels good. It’s possible that even ten years ago I would have answered differently, but twenty-first century porn has changed my mind: Sites like Seancody.com and BrokeStraightBoys.com, where supposedly straight men have sex with other men, are wildly successful. And I do think that at least some of these porn actors are straight, or at least straighter than they are gay. So this makes me think that there has to be something intriguing enough to them about the idea to overcome what’s left of the taboo. And this is with other men! So if very experimental straight men are willing to let other men explore their bums, then yes, I suspect that your average straight man is definitely interested in having his female partner explore his bum — even if he won’t admit it.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Engaged Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Well, a while back I heard of colonic hydrotherapy and was instantly interestdd in it. Before that I had anally pleased myself with a dildo or cucumber. The pleasure is amazing but the mess it smetimes made was a turn off and made me not want to do it. I discovered the correct method of enemas though, (and not the little disposable bottled ones on the shelf). To properly prepare your colon for anal stimulation you have to flush it out to where it is 100% cleansed. After you are thoroughly cleansed the enjoyment is 10 times as amazing.! So now I am able to take way bigger objects in back there and the climax is out of this world. I recently started colonic hydrotherapy, and that’s an aazing sensation too. As soon as the session is done I know I can pound away with no mess, just pure pleasure…. So remember, its all about preparation, to enjoy it to the fullest.
Help, my husband loves his anus plaed with, he wants me to lock it and it is not a turn on, he wants me to do him with a strap on, and our attemps have been disatourous, PLEASE HELP, THIS IS RUINING OUR MARRIAGE, AS HE TOLD ME THIS AFTER WE HAD BEEN TOGETHER FOR 14 YEARS AND I CAN’T SPANK HIM WITHOUT CRYING WHEN I SEE THE MARKS ON HIS ASS, AND THE ANAL ON HIM, HAS BEEN REALLY BAD.
hi, need help i have been married for almost two years and recently my husband like playing with my bottom hole during sex (this is very uncomfatable for myself as i consider that a waste hole lol) but he really enjoys it what am i too think?
thanks one very concerned wife
I’m a gay man and a clinician. I love having my ass pounded, or pounding my man’s hole. What’s fascinates me is the number of straight guys I’m seeing who are exploring ass play, prostate exploration and getting pegged by their girlfriends and wives. It’s also been pretty cool to hear how man straight boys are asking their gay male friends for advice on how to open their holes!
Iv played with my tail end for most of my life and its a great aid to masturbation. My new wife asked me if she could play with my bottom and I was shocked at how good it felt. Im not gay but can understand why both sexes like a little back door action.
I love when my wife uses are strapon on me she.really gives.it.to me we both enjoy it and we have done this for 2 years are so its great to have role reversal she loves to pound me
More straight guys than admit it crave to have their anuses stimulated and penetrated. The stereotype that male anal eroticism equals homosexuality is sexist, homophobic, and entirely false. Unfortunately, it persists among women as well as men, making it difficult for many men to fulfill a deep, persistent desire.
Fortunately, there are signs of change. Consider the massive quantitites of porn on the internet having to do with strap-on dildos and analingus, with women giving it to men. And all the books–both how-to sex guides and erotic novels–just do a keyword search on Google Books if you don’t believe me. And all the anal toys marketed for male use, from butt plugs to prostate massagers (look up the Tantus Glide) and vibrators.
I am a straight man who craves anal gratification. I get it from my wife, who loves to bend me over and lick and penetrate my anus with a well-lubricated finger. Penetration itself is mind-blowingly pleasurable, and the stimulation of my prostate leads to the most powerful orgasms ever. Best of all is the sense of role reversal and being receptive and submissive. I have never been taken by a woman wearing a strap-on, but I hope to be one day.
Most guys love a little back-door attention! Check out my article on TOOTIT.com on how to introduce this in the bedroom, even if your guy is hesitant: http://tootit.com/2011/10/taking-anal-play-like-a-champ/
Thanks!
There fantastic anal orgasms are very good for health of prostate. Even elderly men without boners can enjoy them
I just love bouncing up and down with pillows stuffed under my arse. Best scream out orgasms I have – can get out of breath tho
just to add to the above,
they get what they want, I get what I want and the world hasn’t ended yet 🙂
I’m an openly gay guy with mostly gay friends. My gay friends don’t like the three or four straight male friends i hang out with quite regularly (and these guys kinda know each other but they’re not friends with each other – it’s always one on one time). They’re always up for getting sucked off and two times out of three THEY will initiate penetrative anal sex where they are the recipient. None of them are interested in touching or sucking anything and I’m absolutely certain that I’m the only guy these guys play with – so whether that makes me an enabler to their bi-sexual side or just a greedy guy with a personal secret stable I don’t know. Personally, all my friends are awesome and amazing sex is just another way that we connect/bond, even if it is a secret..! It’s just a good job none of them have ever turned up when one of the others stays over…!! (yet..)
all i can say is wow… my girl loves it. it actually gets her more off doing it.she wants to fuck it bad. and tonight im going to let her. emotions have a lot to do with this. cause not just anyone i would let and im 100% straight
Okay, let me say the whole “I’m straight, 31, married, have kids and have no gay impulses at all” thing up front. Not interested in it, don’t want a boyfriend, nothing like that.
But my roommate in grad school was a very closeted gay who made moves on me when he got drunk. One night we got wasted together and I finally said “sure” to his suggestion, figuring “hell why not?”
It was just one time and never repeated again with him or any other guy. But ladies and gentlemen, I just want to say WOW. We didn’t f*ck, but I got the single BEST blowjob of my life that included two fingers up the ass with some pretty vigorous action leading up to and during the orgasm. It was a complete game changing moment in my sexual life and since then I LOVE assplay! LOVE! IT! I don’t care how “gay” it is, I put a toy up in there during sex and have incredible orgasms. My wife brings me to the edge orally then takes me over it with nothing but a dildo across the prostate. Again, WOW!
So if you think it’s gay or are too uptight to try it, I really don’t care. My orgasms are better than yours, so there! 😛 lol
The anal area is very sensitive and attention to it is very enjoyable.But because it considered to be gay to enjoy this area it’s prohibitive… It’s only geography,forget the stigma and enjoy it.