Advice from three of EMandLO.com‘s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s a good holiday present for 1) a guy you’ve just started dating (sleeping with), 2) a guy you’ve been exclusive with for a year or so, 3) a husband? To ask the guys your own question, click here.
Married Straight Guy (Jake):
Gift giving for guys is typically a lot different than for girls. Guys tend to like all kinds of things that speak to them and their interests. Sometimes it’s something practical and something they can use, other times it can be just because they like it. Some examples of these include escape room tickets, a bottle of bourbon, custom shirts, and even a devil may cry neon sign for the man cave. That advice should help you figure something out but if not, the following are some sexy gift idea / normal, but awesome gift ideas for the three types of guys:
1) A bottle of bourbon / A bottle of bourbon
2) A surprise night in a nice hotel / A turntable and some vinyl
3) Erotica / A classy silver pocket watch
Single Straight Guy (Megan): One of the best presents I have ever received was a bouquet of flowers. I think that would be acceptable in all three of these circumstances, especially if you just started sleeping with the guy. Of course, this would be an admission that you are genuinely interested in him so if you don’t want to take the risk that he may not reciprocate the sentiment, do something manly/boyish. Go to a game with him or a concert or whatever it is you know he likes to do. This lets him know you are interested in doing things with him and that you are willing to participate in his hobbies. Remember: if you ask a group of women what they did over the weekend, they would talk about the emotions they experienced over that weekend. If you asked a group of men what they did over the weekend, they would talk about the activities they engaged in. Early on, keep it about activities. If you’ve been exclusive with a man for an extended period of time be he a long-term boyfriend or current husband, then make sure to remember the details of your gift. Just because you’ve been together for a while and gone through a few holidays together doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wrap it up and make it pretty. The fact that you still take the time to package it lovingly says just as much as the gift inside. As for what to put under the wrapper, make it that thing he wants and always talks about, but that he never buys for himself. This takes planning and forethought, but that’s the beauty of the gift. You didn’t just pick up something at the last minute. You’ve been listening for weeks or even months, and that’s the best gift of all: attention.
Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne): I think the best presents come from the heart, no matter how long or intimate you are with someone. Something made by hand that’s unique is always appreciated and considered special, such as a “coupon book” with coupons for everything from doing dishes to dates. More elaborate handmade gifts depends on your skill set, anything from an addition on the house to an oil painting portrait. It’s good to keep in mind should be given whenever the mood strikes, not necessarily on a Hallmark holiday.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Committed Gay Guy is Dwayne Resnick, a mid-20th-century decorative arts dealer in NY’s Hudson Valley; our Single Straight Guy is The Meeglet blogger Megan, a former librarian whose Men of the Stacks calendar benefits the It Gets Better Project, and our Married Straight Guy is Jake Kulji, a Minneapolis-based freelance writer who blogs at Analogue Living and who has written two Minnesota hiking and camping guidebooks. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
The key with these things is to figure out what your guy likes and then get THAT, not just stuff that “guys in general” like. I’ve known guys who would love a pocket watch, and I’ve known guys who would be severely confused by the gift. Some guys like music on vinyl, some would find it completely useless. Some guys hate clothes shopping and would love for someone to buy them some new clothes, others would feel like you’re just telling them their current clothing sucks. Some would appreciate a handmade craft, others will toss it in a corner and let it collect dust. Give him something he wants, not necessarily something you want him to have.
I got the best present ever a week ago: A christmas calender. It’s wrapped in exactly the packaging I’ve been wanting, and it only contains sweets and other stuff I absolutely love. I’ve opened the 7th package today and again – some chocolate that I really, really love. What I love most about this present is the thoughts behind it. He really thought about what I’m gonna love. And he asked me beforehand what I would not want – and LISTENED. I love him for it.
Same thing for the Xmas present I’m giving him: In August, I saw him wandering around a shirt he really loved. He’s gonna get that. I keep a mental list of things he likes and just take something of those things for presents.