Wise Guys: Who Has to Work Harder During Sex, Men or Women?

photo via Flickr

Advice from three of EM & LO‘s guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “Who has to work harder during sex: men or women? Why?”

Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): I know for a fact men have to work harder just to have sex in the first place. you can see tons of examples of men working it, burning those calories at sites like 18 twink xxx. As for who is burning more calories during the deed, it is going to depend on several factors, including but not limited to: Position (Missionary has the him controlling most of the motion but something a bit more advanced, such as Reverse Cowgirl, can be quite exhausting for her); Time of day (morning sex might have either person working harder, especially if one partner is still sleeping); Physical capabilities (if she is a jazzercise instructor and he is a professional couch potato, she most likely will be steering the ship). I think it’s nice to alternate positions based on degree of difficulty to make sure everyone is feeling that deep burn.

Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): Not a good question to ask a married man – when it comes to sex, my wife and I are equally lazy. From what I remember from my time “in the saddle”, sex can be as energetic (or otherwise) as you desire, regardless of your gender. Of course, the traditional approach required more effort from the man, rutting away in the missionary position until sowing his seed in his mistress’ fertile loins. But in these liberated post-SATC times, sexual roles – and positions – are negotiable, so whoever wants to take the lead is free to. As long as someone can be bothered…

Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): No one ever says “wait ‘til my labia is fully erect” or “can’t get your clitoris up?” before sex. A hard penis means working hard. Men, hands down.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook, a British writer/illustrator working in Berlin with his photographer wife on their cool blog, Überlin; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. reading the previous comments above I find myself agreeing and strongly disagreeing with a lot of comments but I believe both male and female comments above have kinda drifted from the original question. . .Who has to work harder DURING sex men or women? I believe in order to have a successful sex partnership, both of the party’s need to work hard. Men tend to have a stronger physical physique and gentlemen why not use this to your advantage often sparking interesting position ideas which a women might be lacking the strength and the body parts to often perform (again in most cases). during intercourse my partner and myself are sweaty while I perform most of the physical movements she is producing the sexual desire for me to want to work hard for us both to achieve orgasm. Women you nay not have the physical physique to perform these sophisticated maneuvers you should often play to your strong points. (multitasking) why men are simple creatures most focused on one task at a time, it is women who can control the little things that take an ordinary sexaul experience and turn it into extra ordinary sexual experience simply by the flick of a tongue finger or perhaps toys. All I am saying is both parties should work hard seeing this is a task for two.

  2. I believe that there are a lot of good points listed above but some may drift from the question. . .who works harder DURING sex? I believe that it is hard for both parties wether it is the position or the mental aspect of it all. I find myself after/during feeling different emotions I believe (in most cases) a man can and should work harder in pleasing his partner do to his physical advantages again (in most cases the man is stronger than the women and should use this to both of there advan

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