Wise Guys – Why Are Men So Abrupt on the Phone and in Emails?

photo by SYD_Rahim

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Why are guys always so abrupt when it comes to email and phone communication?

Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): I dnt know what ur talkn about.

Straight Committed Guy (Johnny): Because they’re booooooriiiiiiiing. Communication is cheap in this day and age. People text, tweet and facebook-comment their every inane thought. Ninety-eight percent of it is totally forgettable/ignorable. There was a time long ago (like, 10 years) when people communicated purposefully. More traditional phone and email communication (I can’t believe I’m calling email traditional) is usually just more of the same. Do you have something you really want to tell me, or is it the same crap you just tweeted to everyone else you know? I have no inherent objection to talking on the phone. I just usually have a short attention span for what’s on the other end. And call me old-fashioned, but I like face-time best. Don’t you want to save the chit-chat for when we chill in real-life? It’s a true pleasure when I pick up the phone and find a stimulating conversation on the other end, but that’s not usual. I am direct and honest about all this when women ask me why I’m short on the phone. They usually go through a 5-minute mourning period when they realize they’re with a non-phone-guy, then pretty much assimilate to it.

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): What the fuck is there to talk about?

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow; Straight Single Guy is blogger Chris DiClerico; and our Straight Committed Guy is regular EMandLO.com commenter, Johnny. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. That’s funny – my boyfriend is way more into phone time than I am. I’m with Johnny on this one: I’d rather be talking in person. Nothing against talking on the phone, but eventually you run out of even vaguely interesting things to say, and then there’s nothing to talk about when you actually do see each other.

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