You Don’t Have to Walk on Eggshells Around a Guy with a Small Penis

A really interesting conversation took place recently in the comments section of our post, “Is It Okay to Use a Vibrator That’s Bigger Than My Boyfriend?” In situations like this, we always tend to advise readers toward kindness, and also to letting the guy take the lead in terms of dildo size. But a reader named Jon chimed in to say that sometimes honesty is preferable when it comes to penis size. “If she likes the bigger toy then just tell him it gives a different feeling to him –- not necessarily better, just different –- and she likes both,” Jon wrote. “He already knows he isn’t huge, so that shouldn’t be too much of a shock to him. Plus, he’d maybe like seeing her pleasured in a way that he can’t do.” To which we replied, seriously? A guy could handle this? And not just supernaturally confident guys? Below is Jon’s response, assuring us that yes, sometimes honesty is the kindest and best way to go…

It’s not just confidence, it’s also a bit of realism. I’m smaller than this girl’s boyfriend and I certainly wouldn’t have a problem with her enjoying the feeling of something bigger. If she’s happy then it has to be a good thing. Better that than her missing out on something because she’s scared of shattering my ego.

Seems to me that girls tend to think they have to walk on eggshells if a guy has a small penis in case she offends him. Sometimes the worry isn’t having a small one it’s wondering what she really thinks – like if she says oh your size is fine does she really mean that or is she secretly wondering how bigger would feel but doesn’t want to tell me. A bit more honesty would be the way around that – something like, everything’s great between us but sometimes I just want to feel something bigger. Do you think some girls would be worried about having that sort of conversation with their guy?

Want more penis size talk?
My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me


  1. Eve though I’m anonymous here, I’m not going to talk about the size of my penis on the internet. However, if a woman spoke to me about wanting something (not someone) bigger than what nature gave me, I wouldn’t feel insulted. I would see it as something like taking some pressure off of me. And that pressure has more to do with keeping things fresh and having options to use, as opposed to pressure on my penis to measure up or perform.

    I can’t imagine that my being concerned about her pleasure would do anything but make her appreciative. I can’t see a problem with her telling me a way to be a better partner for her. I guess I can’t see a problem.

  2. What if a guy wanted his GF to put a fleshlight in her vagina before intercourse because he wants to feel a different sensation? or for the GF to wear breast pads because he wants to feel bigger breasts?

    1. Sorry, I’ve got to fall back to kindness here again — you can be honest without being a jerk. Whether you’re a man or woman, you don’t have deny the fact that you use sex toys on your own, but you don’t have to rub it in your partner’s face either, especially if they’re feeling insecure. If they’re down with experimenting with toys together, great! If not, no need to forgo your alone-time play, but don’t go out of your way to advertise the fact that your toys give you things your partner can’t. And “Whatever”, just to be clear, you can’t put a Fleshlight in a vagina.

  3. I don’t mind you making a blog post out of my comment but it is a shame you missed the point.

    This “Jon’s response, assuring us that yes, sometimes honesty is the kindest and best way to go” is not what I was trying to assure you of – in fact the total opposite. I was trying to assure you that honesty is the best way, pure and simple. If a woman starts to think about kindness in regards to her guy having a small penis that small penis is always going to be a “big” problem.

    As experts in your field I’m sure you know that men and women place different values on kindness 🙂

    1. Sorry to misinterpret your advice Jon, that was my bad! What you clarify here — that thinking about kindness is in fact the WORST way to approach a small penis situation — is even more interesting. Thanks for checking back in!

  4. Yes, many girls would be worried about having that sort of conversation with their guy! Sometimes it’s just plain nice NOT to be brutally honest. Like when someone asks “Does this make me look fat?” you don’t have to tell the cold, hard truth!

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