Your Call: How Can I Live with My Ex?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

I wrote to you about three years ago about how my upstairs neighbor was my ex-bf and that I needed to continue living there for school. Now, at 24, I find myself in a much stickier and more unsavory situation. Same boy and I got back together after that, fell in love, and after getting things to a very healthy and stable place, moved in together about 8 months ago. Now, we just broke up, as our jobs and lives are moving in different directions. I cannot move out until I’ve found myself an apartment. He can afford the entire rent on his own, once I’m gone. Any tips for weathering the storm? I really want to avoid spending nights at my parents’ house or moving back in with them, as I feel super-isolated there. This is my home! Help!

— Not Home Alone

What should N.H.A. do?


  1. I live with my ex husband, have for two years since the divorce and as hard as it waz at first it turned into a blessing! We are now great friends again and even my fiance eho also lives with us and they are now friends and respect each other! Our kids holf no resentment to either of us and have been able to see how to work even the biggest of situations!

  2. Heheh. Well, just a single day after emailing Em&Lo, I moved out to the parents. It was just too difficult. We’re trying to deal with the splitting of furniture of amicably. I believe I am going to survive. Thanks for the advice!

  3. Look times are tough. You are young. Talk to him and act like the adults you both are. Money, logistics, respect and time affect a situation. I am unemployed/Long Term. Married 21 yrs.Never Cheated. We grew apart and the Love is Gone. I got the attic. She has the bedroom and we work hard to keep it amicable. It is hard work and harder w/2 kids and the divorce finale’ on the horizon. There is always someone that has it worse and better than you. Learn from it. You guys have had more sex and happiness in the 4+ yrs I have been cut off. Prioritize what it important and focus on your future. All the Best.

  4. Living with an ex is the worst. Suck it up and do the parents’ house thing. I know that’s unappealing, but you’re young and you’ll bounce back fast.

    If you stick around things will get ugly.

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