Your Call: How Can I Seduce My Boyfriend?

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We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

I was friends with my boyfriend for quite a while before we started dating a couple months ago. Because of that, our relationship didn’t start the way I’m used to. We already got past the awkward “hanging out” stages before we actually dated at all, but unfortunately, all we’re doing still is “dating.” It’s basically doing what we were before, but making out and sleeping over. KEYWORD: SLEEPING.

I know he had his heart broken way back when, and I’m sure he has trust issues, but what is the best way to bring up sex? We’ve fooled around two or three times, but it doesn’t seem to be going much farther and I’m dying over here! Should I just try to seduce him and get it over with, or do I stick it out? I really like this guy, but I’m getting a bit antsy. Help please!

— Blue Walls

What should B.W. do?


  1. I think you may be asking the wrong question. The question you probably should be asking is: How do I determine what the best way to move forward is? The only way to answer that is to talk to the man. He might not be interested in you sexually. Or he might be interested in you sexually, but is waiting for you to take the lead. Or he may have a physiological problem, i.e. erectile dysfunction. Sex is a healthy part of an affirming romantic relationship, but it often doesn’t happen without some real baring of the soul. Someone has to be the first to take the risk of rejection, and if he either can’t or won’t be that one; then either you can take the risk or you can walk away from it. I’m not saying that seduction is a bad thing…I’m just saying that you might be better advised to understand what’s going on in his head before you try to get at what’s going on in his pants.

  2. Try leaving him a little note on the fridge
    1. Milk
    2. Eggs
    3. Wine
    4. Bend me over the table and pound me silly until I collapse into a shuddering mess on the floor.
    Men love little “to-do” notes, especially on their fridge. They also like little loving messages on a napkin at the bottom of their lunchpail that they find in the lunchroom before recess. Oh, and NFL football. just saying.

  3. Try pushing the makeout/fooling around sessions just one tiny step further every time. And is he a boob man? Big tip if he is: Don’t wear a bra. Don’t be afraid to touch him. Don’t be afraid to push things past where they’ve gone before, but please be attentive. If he actually is uncomfortable moving forward, stop and let him make the first move. But it could just be that he’s unsure if -you- want to go ahead. So, be a bit more direct. Drop a few verbal hints; you should at least be able to do that if you want to sleep with him. If the physical stuff doesn’t cut it, you should be able to at least talk about it. If you can’t, I’m wondering if you two are in fact ready to move forward after all.

  4. ^ I’m a guy, and I’m not known for my patience. Nor do I “force the issue and make her put out.” I don’t like waiting, and I don’t want to drag sex out of an unenthusiastic partner. I want a woman who wants me too, and who’s comfortable with sex.

    The classic advice for how to seduce a guy is, touch him on the penis. Have you tried that yet?

  5. You should do what every guy has to do and is told to do, and be patient.

    Reread your question and switch the genders. “Dear Em, I’m a dude and I’m tired of waiting to bang this chick that I’m dating, should I just force the issue and make her put out?”

    Yea. You think about that.

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