Your Call: How Much Is Too Much Self Love?

photo via Flickr

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below. 

Dear Em & Lo, I’m worried about how much I masturbate and I think I might be addicted. I usually masturbate 3 or 4 times a day. Thanks for any adcvi.

— Sore


  1. I also find interesting that people assume this is a guy – I assumed it was a girl!
    I also get the urge to “lay myself down for an adult nap” several times a day and because I am currently unemployed, I do. Usually just with my own imagination as inspiration.
    Do I feel guilty that I can stay home and play with myself while my husband works – sure. Do I think there’s something wrong with me – no.
    I say enjoy!

  2. A few years ago I had an extremely high sex drive, however, I also had vaginismus which meant I was unable to have sex. I recall how frustrating it was to feel horny alot of the time. I spent most of my afternoons after my lectures at university in my flat alone masturbating two, three or four times a day, but this was not because I was addicted nor was it because I adored internet porn. I just had a very high sex drive. It was horrible to have this beast inside me that I couldn’t seem to control and experiencing this as a woman has given me a lot of sympathy for men who have this problem. However, the desire for something and the compulsion to act on that desire are two seperate issues. Only you can decide which it is.

  3. Why all the assumptions that this is a man? There’s no mention of anything gendered at all in that question. Though I think the same advice stands: if you’re putting off doing other things, like interacting with real people, work, cleaning, or reading, etc… in order to masturbate, then you have a problem. If you have tried to -not- masturbate, but been unable to keep yourself from it, then you have a problem. Man or woman, you need to pay attention to how much you’re wanting to do it in terms of how much you’re able to do function well without your hand in your pants. Even people with a super super high sex drive can deal with some frustration now and then, so test yourself. If you pass your own test, don’t fret! Just stay in tune with yourself and your surroundings. If you seem to struggle, you may want to speak to a professional. Whether you are a man or a woman.

  4. ^ That’s a big “unless,” Rosalia. Over-wanking is a big problem for a lot of guys, especially single guys who would do better to reserve their sexual energy for real women than for their computer screens.

  5. Honestly, I don’t think that there is such a thing as “too much” unless it gets in the way of your daily life. Too much is when you’re skipping work to stay home and masturbate. Otherwise, rock on with your bad self! Self love is the best love!

  6. If you naturally pop so many boners per day that you need to relieve yourself that often, I guess you’re just high drive.

    If, however, you’re doing it out of boredom, or because you automatically, compulsively click on porn every time you sit at a computer, you’ve got a problem.

    Use lube dude. That much wanking will leave you raw.

  7. Iuno… I don’t think 3 – 4 times a day is “addicted”. They might just be REALLY horny 😛 I used to do it more then that until I got on the pill…

Comments are closed.