Your Call – I Sent Flirty Texts to Other Women and GF Left Me
Dear Em & Lo
My girlfriend of nine years just took off with our three kids to her mom’s. She caught me texting another girl — this is the fourth time. All the girls were friends from out of state. As we text more, we got a lil flirty and that’s when my ex would step in. I never intended on physically cheating. I just would talk to other girls for advice on my relationship ,but it went further. I realize I made many mistakes but she is the love of my life and the mother of my children. What do I do? She is so mad at me.
— Two-Timing Texter
What should Texter do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.
There is obviously a problem with intimacy in the relationship, and lack of communication. It appear that there are things left unsaid and need to be discussed, usually in this situation someone’s need are not being met and the someone is not showing interest in rectifying the intimacy problem. Be honest and tell her that the production is not what is expected and if she don’t want to discuss it , move on. Sometime people are good as friends but lousy lovers, so the key is be honest with yourself and seed self satisfaction without guilt. you only have one life to live, try to find the one that’s compatible in at least the majority of personal desires.
start sexting HER…make it fun…even if she is next to you. It just might improve your communications with her and let her know your concerns and what you really want in bed.
Why did you do that again?Do you know how painful it feels to “your” lady(if she is still yours).Try to show her how sorry you realy are or else let her feel free from the cheaty relationship.
she did the right thing Brava!!!! i know the feeling how it hurt . i had the same problem with my 4 years boyfriend .i go through in his emails and i couldn’t believe my eyes .
You went through his emails? That’s the unacceptable thing.
You really have to ask yourself why you text other girls…. Maybe your girlfriend is not the love of you life… something has to be missing from your relationship that you find comfort in other women.
Dumbass. Of course she is mad at you, how old are you, 18?? Shouldn’t you know? Wow. Your girlfriend should go find a guy that truly loves her and doesn’t text sex/flirt with other women.
Sexting is just as dangerous as driving and texting, it could ruin your’s and other peoples lives. Either stay committed to your girlfriend or break it off and suffer the consequences of the children missing their daddy cause he is a M O R O N (I typed it slow so you could read it). Whatever happened to family values?????
really 4 times did he promise the other four times serously people don’t change once a lying dog always a lying dog. just hope his promises mean something when he makes them to his kids
^^You’d think so, but apparently not.
By the way, I was also 14 at the time I dated 14 year olds. I just realized that looks bad.
Re-reading this, I realize it’s also possible he was feeling trapped in the relationship and that was his way of acting out – not necessarily compulsive. Being unmarried w/3 kids, maybe the first pregnancy was unplanned, and he wasn’t truly ready to have a family of 5. That’s a pretty big mulligan to start out life with, but the world will benefit if he does his best from now on. I still think she was right to leave him. So, be a good dad, don’t badmouth the ex in front of the kids, and procure your own happiness.
And Johnny, I think the operative words in your last post are “14 to 30”. Shouldn’t we outgrow that stuff once we reach our 30s?
First things first: if you are having problems in your relationship, you don’t discuss them with other women.
The fact is that when you start relying on women who are not your girlfriend to support you and fix your problems, you are transferring some of the ‘function’ of a girlfriend to them. Is it surprising that so often you end up falling into the trap of flirting with them? You’ve made an emotional connection, it is natural that a physical one might follow.
If you need a female’s perspective, try your mother or your sister. Even a cousin. Write in to Em and Lo. But don’t start connecting with women when you know you have a tendency to take it too far.
That said, it’s been four times. I’m not sure I’d recommend she even take you back.
i think he was just trying to liven up a really dull life. I can understand that, I just did the same “sexy text” with another guy, and had no intentions of cheating! You just get tired of the dullness of you life sometimes.
Soloveley wrote: “How would you feel if the circumstances were reversed?”
That’s what I find so surprising about all the condemnation here – has any man NOT had that situation reversed?
In my experience this, reversed, is the most common form of disrespect toward a dude in a relationship! I’ve never been married with kids, but almost every woman I’ve ever dated, from age 14 to 30, has pulled the following(paraphrasing here):
GF:”On of my dorky orbiters says you’re a bad BF and he’d be a better BF and I’m so sexy and you don’t appreciate me!”
BF: “He’s obviously undermining me because he wants you!”
GF:”WUUUH!? You really think so? No WAY. Don’t be silly. You’re so jealous.”
I’ve ceased to see this as disrespect, even – just run-of-the-mill relationship crapola that’s best joked off or ignored. That’s how common it is the other way around.
So, come ON. I have to believe that some of the angered posters above have pulled this exact move themselves. Give this guy a little slack!
Unless of course you think this guy’s a liar and the texts were way pervy and showed intent to cheat.
Deal with the first issue. Why is she your girlfriend of 9 years and 3 kids later?
Hell no she shouldn’t take you back! Are you kidding? What can you do? Nothing. What you SHOULD HAVE been doing (telling the truth, being emotionally available for the mother of your kids, putting energy into your relationship & family) you proved you couldn’t. And NOW you want to change? Ha. Cute. You won’t change. Remember, this is the 4th time you’ve done this. Sorry, but you better get used to every other weekend and Wednesday nights with your 3 kids.