Your Call: Should My Fiance Throw Out Memorabilia of His Ex?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

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Dear Em & Lo,

I hate that my fiancé keeps so many photos of his ex-girlfriend. They aren’t framed on the wall or anything, but he has hundreds of photos of their time together — beach vacations where she’s wearing a bikini, cute couple shots, etc etc. He also keeps love letters she wrote for him and things she made for him. I hate the idea that I sometimes come across this stuff when I’m hunting for an envelope or a pair of scissors, but he says he shouldn’t have to pretend that part of his life never existed. What do you think?

— Domestic Censor

What should Domestic Censor do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.





  1. I agree with Johnny. It is reasonable for him to keep his memories, but you shouldn’t have to encounter them. How he stores this material really depends on the extent of your relationship with him. If the two of you are living together, it would be appropriate for him to stash the material away in a box (not necessarily hermetically sealed) in the back of his closet. If you have not been together that long, him having the material in his desk draw is not unreasonable. Everyone has some type of a past. He is not wasting his time pining for his; there is nothing wrong with holding on to old memorabilia.

  2. Tell him you’d appreciate it if he stuck all that stuff somewhere that you’re guaranteed never to see it. Taped-up box in the attic, top shelf of his personal closet, whatever. I agree with him that you shouldn’t tell hom to throw his stuff out, but I agree with you that it shouldn’t be lying around like little jealousy booby-traps. That’s the fairest compromise.

    PS are you “opening” us, here? Because this situation is literally straight out of the pickup artist’s handbook of conversation starters. It is known as the “jealous girlfriend routine.”

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