Your Call: Why Did He Break Up with Me?

The “beyond my control” breakup scene in the film Dangerous Liasons

We get a lot of questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to respond to a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your thoughts in the comments section. 

Dear Em & Lo,

I’ve been in a 15-year relationship with a man that I love. We had broken up many times in between but we always came back to one another. We have a connection. I recently found out that I am sick and he left me right before I was to have surgery. He said he didn’t want to leave me but he felt that we were just not right for each other anymore. We disagreed on several family related issues but he never vocalized that he would leave me because of them. He even used to tell me that I would get over the issues when we got married. I then found out that he has been seeing this new girl and that she is supposedly the right one for him to start his life with and get married to. He claims he really likes her but she is not even his type. He says she is a family person like him. It’s only been four months since we broke up. He tells me he still loves me but that he has to move on in life. I don’t understand what is going on. Any advice would be so great right now. 

— Sick & Single

What do you think S&S should do? Leave your suggestions for her in the comments section below. 



  1. ^ Think so? Can’t say for sure, because the letter’s kinda vague but I see three potential causes at play:

    1. Family issues
    2. Sickness
    3. Other girl

    It’s got to be a combination of all three, but I actually leaned toward “other girl” as the main reason. If I were a betting man I’d say he met this other girl earlier than he’s admitting to.

  2. He ditched you because you became sick and were “too hard” to deal with. Clearly not a guy who’s going to be there for you in sickness. Hate to say it, but after all this time, he can’t deal with sticking with you…then you’re better off.

    If it’s any consolation, he’ll probably bail on the new girl if anything happens to her too.

  3. I can’t say why he broke up with you, but he shouldn’t be “telling you” anything. You’re exes now. You should no longer speak. It’s obviously killing you.

    Here’s the harshest thing about break-ups: you used to go through things together, but now, not only do you have to go through this without him, but you have to do so with the knowledge that he’s NOT going through the same thing. He’s paired off and happy, and you’re not.

    I know what a barf-inducing nut-kick that is. Don’t do it to yourself. Cut him off. Delete his number. Delete him from social media.

    Closure is an individual process – you’re not going to get it from him. It’ll come from within yourself.

    Take some distance.

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