Your Call: Why Does My BF Look at Naked Pics of Celebs?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section. 

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Dear Em & Lo,

I’m 25 and my BF is 24. Our sex life dwindled just like every other live-in couple, from once-twice day to once in ten-fifteen days. Whatever. My problem is he searches for porn videos and naked pics of almost each and every good-looking celebrity (actor/singer/sports personalities/anyone really!) he sees on TV.

It’s gotten to such a point that I feel uncomfortable even watching movies with him without feeling that the next thing he’ll do is go online and start his business. Is this normal? Do all men do this? I don’t mind him looking up porn videos of porn stars (that’s their job, duh) but almost everyone he sees on TV? Isn’t that a bit immature and obsessive? Am I overreacting?

— Dating a Googleholic

What should D.A.G. do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.



  1. I thought I was the only one who had a guy who did this but mines not 25 he’s 35! I don’t even like watching movies with him anymore because I know as soon as the actresss shows up I know he’s itching to google search her “nude” today was the best because last nite we watching a movie and I knew he wanted to “google search” but he couldn’t because I was right there but first thing this morning that’s what he did! To me it’s some sort of compulsion like OCD like. It drives me crazy it’s like wowwww shiny object I gotta have it look at it. It’s almost any movie because of course they usually all have some attractive actress in it. I know many say it’s harmless all men do it but Jesus how bout a little self control.

  2. I wish my situation happened a while back I am gonna tell you something important especially since I know your only gonna hurt more by this situation finding even more things that doesn’t make you feel like you are all he see’s. This goes for any other girl who feels a man should not watch porn or anything else that you don’t feel comfortable with.

    Move on if he won’t change for you at the first try because that means he is not thinking about your feelings and how it may be affecting you, you don’t want to marry a man who will never take any consideration in your feelings and opinion, his matters too but if he rather keep his needs more then you, to him your not important. So do not settle!!!!!

    There are men out there who feel the same way about porn and celebs believe are not, but if you do stay you are only gonna suffer and go through miles of finding him lying to you or worse just not caring at all. I was lucky to get my guy to stop because I sat him down and made him look at the girl he see’s as just a picture of pleasure like porn they are both the same. I made him see through the flaws of these pictures of naked girls.

    One she was married, but her husband is the one that convinced her to pose naked in front of the camera to please him (you would be doing the same by staying with your guy) she felt alone and I told him to look into her eyes so he could see how much she is suffering and acting that she is seductive and happy she even expressed her broken heart by holding herself where you can see she felt naked emotionally naked, exposed, and used.

    Woman all over the world pose naked to please there men or for the search of love that was never given to them. my friend is going through the same thing it hurts me so much but I can not wake her if I wanted to she feels its the only way to please her husband and insecurities.

    Don’t be a fool to what a man believes is common my man changed for me, but I still go through the pain of remembering the 6 years of lying and secrets because he didn’t understand how it affected me and why it was his choice to hurt me more and mine for staying. It is not worth the scars move on before it is to late don’t make it harder because you feel like he is the one trust me you will find someone who values you enough to only see you they exist trust me they do. <3

    I had other options but did not choose to move on because I was naive but if you still have that chance move on find the one who wants you not the world of common I am lucky but it doesn't mean it is not hard to trust him again. I hope this helps others understand that you have to value yourself before anyone can value you.

  3. I’m curious as to what your relationship is like. Is it a supportive and caring relationship where you feel respected and appreciated, and your boyfriend also looks at porn, or not?

    “Our sex life dwindled just like every other live-in couple, from once-twice day to once in ten-fifteen days. Whatever.” – this makes me wonder if there are other, more relationship-fundamental, problems besides his porn predilection.

    If your relationship is doing well, then I wouldn’t worry nearly as much as if your relationship wasn’t doing well.

  4. My advice is not to confront him about the porn, because if you make him feel guilty about it, he’ll just do it behind your back. He isn’t going to stop. The desire to look at naked people and people having sex is hard-wired into most men’s brains. If you don’t like the kind of porn he looks at, you’re probably in the same boat as the majority of women. And believe me, what he’s looking at is mild compared to what some ordinary, respectable men load in their browsers when in private. So my advice, focus on the major relationship issue here: dwindling sex life. Again, don’t be accusatory when you talk to him about it. Use “I feel” expressions, such as “I feel like we aren’t as connected sexually as we used to be. How do you feel about it?” and suggest things like “I’d realy like it if we could have sex more frequently. What do you think about that?” Ask him for suggestions. Present the issue as a problem that needs solving and see how he responds. In your mind, tell yourself you’re going to give the relationship a month to improve and then reevaluate. You don’t want to waste time with someone with whom you’re already having major sexual problems.

  5. I am not exactly ok with that kind of behavior, and I think there are lots of women who agree. But maybe this is more invasive for you than just porn, since these are people you are going to see all the time, in movies, billboards, and on tv. So rather than just turning a blind eye to his porn use, you basically have it pushed in your face all the time. It’s just one step less removed, just like how you’d be more upset about him watching videos of a female friend having sex than a total stranger. The less removed it is, the more threatening it feels.

    I dunno what you can do. I don’t entirely agree that this is totally innocent, but then again, it is way better than cheating! Maybe he would be open to a discussion, though, about how this is affecting you. You should be able to cuddle up with a movie together, without you feeling threatened by the lady on the screen, and so maybe there are a couple people who could be off limits.

  6. I only answered one part of your question.

    No, looking at naked celebrities isn’t “immature”. That’s a nasty word often used to shame men for normal masculine behavior, just like “slut” is a nasty word used to shame women for normal, natural behavior. Men of all ages desire a look at the nude female form, so I don’t think it’s fair to imply that his behavior is somehow emotionally or psychologically under-developed.

    Second, no, you are not over-reacting. He is neglecting you sexually, and that’s a major relationship foul. You’re right to be pissed.

  7. I can’t speak for all men, but yes. Outliers aside, pretty much all men do this.

    Some of us, however, feel a sense of sexual responsibility when it comes to satisfying our partners. I would never let my real-life sex life slide like that, nor would my gal tolerate it if I did.

Comments are closed.