G’day mates (yep I’m Australian),
Okay, the scenario: Met a guy on a Friday at a shop. Swapped numbers and he asked me out. I couldn’t that weekend cause I was busy with my bday party. He texted me Saturday night to ask how the party was going and mentioned he was close by. I was drunk partying with friends and I asked him to join us. He did.I party Aussie style, which can be a little wild. We ended up spending the night together.
He called or texted every day since and we went out again last night and he spent the night. I did tell him I wasn’t looking for just a hook-up and I won’t be a booty call. He assured me he thought we had chemistry and that it was more than that.
I’d like a relationship with him but have I blown it sleeping with him too quickly? Would he look at me as girlfriend material? We are both early 40’s so not kids and both educated successful people. I date a lot and sleep with guys if I want to but am clear I don’t want relationship BUT this guy is different and I really want more with him. My girlfriends say I’ve probably blown it and sleeping too quickly was a mistake. I’m a modern independent woman who knows exactly what I want so don’t play games and don’t like to play games.
Thoughts? Feedback? Comments? Help?
— Getting Down Under
You sound like a smart woman. We think you should listen to yourself — and to this guy — and not pay so much to attention to your girlfriends, who probably pay a little too much attention to The Rules and all that nonsense. Let’s look at the facts, shall we? You slept with a guy and then he called you or texted you every day until he saw you again. Then you told him that you were interested in something serious and he didn’t catch the next plane for New Zealand. In fact, he agreed with you. You’ve been more honest and upfront than most people we know, and so far you’re being rewarded for it. We only wish the world always operated in this way!
But for the record: Whether or not this guy sticks around, we think your girlfriends are dead wrong. Here’s why: If a guy is interested in you only for sex, then he’ll take off as soon as he’s had enough of that sex with you — whether you make him wait 24 hours or 24 days for the goods. Making him wait isn’t going to change his mind on that front. And if a guy really likes you — in a Girlfriend Material kind of way — then chances are that sleeping with him isn’t going to change his mind, either. And if it does, then that’s not exactly the kind of guy that a modern, independent, non-game-playing woman like yourself should be with. Consider it a good way to weed out the unqualified applicants!
Em & Lo