Your Call: Why Did My Wife Tell a Mean Joke About My Penis?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below. 


I’m a man in my early 50’s. I have been married to my third wife now for three years. Life was great till just the other day when her mom accidently had her boob get closed in a car trunk. Later we were joking about it and my wife suggested I go close my penis in the trunk — that maybe it would make it bigger. We argued a little about it and she apologized, but the next day I got to thinking that maybe I am not big enough for her, and she’s been lying to me for the past three years. Now I don’t want to have sex with her because of that. What say you?

— Ouch

What do you think of Mrs. Ouch? Was she just making a stupid joke — or is the truth always spoken in jest? And either way, how should he feel about it? Leave your feedback in the comments below. 

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11 Comments on "Your Call: Why Did My Wife Tell a Mean Joke About My Penis?"

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I dated an incredibly small guy for three years. In that time, I never made a joke about his size, nor did I trash talk his penis to my friends. Now did i ever think for a minute, gee, inwish he were bigger..l You know why? The guy gave mind blowing head. He was quite talened with his fingers as well. And he never rushed into sex. Withholding sex is only gonna make you look insecure and pathetic. If you are concerned about your penis size, then why not be proactive and brush up on your oral skills. No woman… Read more »
personally i never say those b/c i am with men that are above avg so that never crosses my mind. if she said it then he is smaller then what she has had in the past. she gave up the size for other things and probably misses it. what she needs to do is to get as tight as the trunk does when it closes so it will feel as big as her loose open trunk needs to be filled…in my opinion. when i was with avg joes..i had to so i would feel pleasure…try not to talk during oral… Read more »

Maybe you should just ask her if she was serious or not? If she was, there are plenty of other ways for you to go about keeping her happy in bed. Look at is as a conversation that could enhance your marriage, rather than end it. Erm, as you have a propensity to do. Not to be judgey or anything.


Excuse me but what is so frackin’ funny about her mom getting her breast slammed in a car trunk? Dude is on wife number three for a reason. Women’s bodies have been the target of jokes and subject to waxing, plucking and alterations to keep men happy. Grow a stiffer upper lip and stop whining about your precious stiffy.


women use d__k size fodder to slam men…ive had one declare to me in an argument in the workplace that i had a small dik just because they lost an argument.If i said the same about her vj or whatever id be facing termination from my job and a harrasment suit–go figure.The Penis is OFF LIMITS end of story

Well, let’s say for the sake of argument that she’d prefer he had a bigger penis. Is that a dealbreaker? Is it worth throwing an otherwise good marriage away over? I would say, continue working on your sex life, as we all should be at all times, be responsive to your partner’s needs, enjoy each other. Who among us is the perfect sex partner? Frankly, if you’re in your 50’s, you probably have physical imperfections at least as important as a small penis. I bet you’re not as strong or fit or generally attractive as you once were. I’m sure… Read more »