25 Things You REALLY Need to Stop Doing in the New Year

by Brenda Della Casa for YourTango

It’s time.

It’s likely you’ve started to think about a few New Year’s Eve resolutions for the coming year. If your year-end review has you feeling that this past year was a good one but not exactly the blockbuster you hoped for, it’s time to get serious about making some meaningful changes. Because let’s be honest: getting toned might make bikini shopping better, but it won’t change your life.

Below we’re highlighting 25 resolutions that will work as investments into your best life, as your best self. Mix and match at your leisure. Or if you’re feeling particularly ambitious, commit to them all.

  1. Disrespectful dating: How pathetic has dating become when random dick pics, rude comments, last-minute cancelations, and remarks that make us uncomfortable are the norm? If you want a better dating experience, standards need to be raised, and you need to be willing to cut it and walk away the second that red flag is waved.
  2. Fake friendships: We are all grown-ups. We know what a real friend is and isn’t. Stop making time for people who make you feel bad/used/put down/disrespected or whatever toxic feeling they ignite. Bye bye!
  3. Your past mistakes: How long have you allowed (insert painful memory here) to keep you from living your best life and enjoying the moment? Do whatever it takes to stop giving this power. See a therapist, read self-help books, meditate, go to group therapy … just make it goal #1 to move on.
  4. Hating on other women: It’s time to be inspired and supportive of one another, to start respecting that all women are “real women,” and remembering that feminism is about being authentic and making choices that feel right for each individual without being pigeonholed into an idea of what it means to be a woman. How is being bullied, belittled and pushed down by another woman any different from being treated this way by a man?
  5. Apologizing for your success: This is the 21st century. Women have fought long and hard for your right to work, vote, and move up and go as high as your vision and hard work can take you. Don’t you dare be afraid to shine.
  6. Letting your inbox make you crazy: Sit down, create some folders, organize and then start deleting or filing in real time.
  7. Ignoring things you need to work on: We all have issues, and addressing and working through them will help us to live our best and happiest lives. What benefit is there in pretending there isn’t a problem other than comforting your ego?
  8. Running to mom and dad: Your parents being there for you is a good thing, but you know what’s better? Showing they did an amazing job by being your most independent, boss self.
  9. Ordering in every night: Not only is it expensive, it’s not all that healthy. Write out a grocery list, teach yourself how to make a few meals, and use the money you save to do something worth splurging on.
  10. Agreeing to “Netflix and chill” when you really want “dinner and a movie.”
  11. Taking cabs/Uber everywhere: Sit down and tally up how much you’ve spent on car service over the past year. If you could go on vacation for the amount, perhaps you should make a change and go on vacation with the amount you save this coming year.
  12. Getting wasted on weekdays: Having dinner and cocktails once in awhile is a part of what makes adult socializing fun, but if you’re hungover at the office several nights a week, it might be time to remind yourself that you’re no longer in college. How can you possibly impress the boss and move up the ladder if you’re constantly off of the wagon?
  13. Staring at social media way past your bedtime: Honestly, there’s nothing on Instagram that will change your life. It can wait.
  14. Sticking it out in relationships because you hope they’ll suddenly become what you want/deserve: A relationship should involve two people who are looking in the same direction and working together to get there, while having fun and finding comfort in each other. Expecting a situation (or worse, a person) to “just change” isn’t going to work.
  15. Using credit cards to supplement the cash you don’t have: Here’s a rule that will lead you to financial freedom: If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Start looking into sites like https://www.cripto-valuta.net/en/crypto-engine/ and other resources that will help you take back your financial freedom.
  16. Running to everyone for advice: Yes, we all have wisdom to share, and it’s amazing to have smart and savvy friends who will offer insight. But if you can’t figure out how to make a decision as to how you feel and figure out what’s right for you, you’ll often find yourself in panicked “what do I do now?” situations that leave you paralyzed.
  17. Choosing to watch reality TV over living a real life.
  18. Making excuses not to hit the gym, go for a run or be active: Exercise is about more than toning up (though that’s a nice bonus). Regular movement increases flexibility, lowers cortisol (the belly-fat causing stress hormone), and helps to release endorphins and combat depression. It’s time to make your health a real priority. Your 80-year-old self will thank you.
  19. Being embarrassed to say “I deserve the very best”: No, this doesn’t mean you need to shame the nice guy who takes you to the mid-level-but-very-nice restaurant and tell him you want a $500 tasting. It means looking in the mirror and knowing you deserve the very best from yourself each and every day.
  20. Playing cat-and-mouse: You know those situations where someone only likes you when you ignore them, but then goes into hiding when you show them affection? #MoveOn
  21. Not facing your fear of confrontation:There’s no successful, happy person on planet earth who isn’t irritating someone right now. It’s time to confront your fear of confrontation so you can finally do what you really want to do, say how you really feel, and live the authentic life you deserve to be living.
  22. Living like a college student: Get yourself some nice dishware, frame your photos, buy a decent set of sheets and some good cookware, and splurge on a nice bottle of wine here and there.
  23. Sleeping with people you don’t like: If you’re growling and complaining that you “want more” or that they’re “a jerk” but then crawl into bed with them on Saturday night, it’s time to cut them loose.
  24. Putting the things that matter on hold: There’s always tomorrow, until there isn’t. The more we walk down the path we’re on, the harder it will be to take the road less traveled. Think about who you are and what you really want out of life, and put a plan in motion. There will never be time if you wait for it, but there’s plenty if you decide to go for it.
  25. Worrying about what they all think: Remember that we all have our own lives to live. Life is a gift, and you can I wrap it and wear it any way you want to.

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