Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.
Dear Dr. Kate,
I’ll just cut right to the chase: I have orgasms in my sleep, what can be called “wet dreams.” When I dream something erotic (even if it’s just my husband and I having sex), not only do I become aroused, but I have actual orgasms. I would say I have several wet dreams a month.
Now, I’m not complaining — it’s kind of awesome, to be honest! — but I want to know how common this is amongst women? Because I’ve never heard of women having wet dreams. Men, yes…women, no. Although, my own husband hasn’t ever had a wet dream. I find that strange, because I always thought that men are the only ones to have them.
So what’s the deal?
— Sexy Sleeper
Dear S.S.,
You’re not alone. The 1950s sex researcher Alfred Kinsey estimated that 40% of women will experience an orgasm while asleep before the age of 45. And these unconscious orgasms seem to be more common as we get older (something to look forward to!). The going theory is that during sleep, our normal inhibitions don’t hold us back, so things that we find erotic — even if disturbing or “forbidden” — will arouse us in a way that wouldn’t happen while we’re awake. And women may climax faster when asleep, for the same reason. For good or bad, these orgasms are not usually voluntary or under conscious control — so there’s no point in trying to prevent them.
Having orgasms while sleeping is not a sign of sexual dysfunction, and they’re not a comment on the quality (or quantity) of your sex life. While there’s some crazy psychoanalytic research out there about what sleep orgasms signify, I think they’re just a sign of a highly tuned sexual system, one that’s built for our pleasure round the clock. So enjoy!
Best of health,
Dr. Kate
Gyotalk
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.
I just want to know why I orgasm in my dreams, but never in RL :'(
Hi 🙂
I’m a 21yo girl. Been experiencing orgasms in my dreams probably since I was eleven. I would always dream of a man who would touch me and my whole body would shudder in excitement.
When I got sexually active, I became very disappointed because I have never experienced such a great orgasm in RL! 🙁
I have sex constantly & have had multiple partners, maybe looking for that guy who gives me breath-taking orgasms in my dreams! I hate waking up after such dreams, because I realise the person with me wasn’t real, but what he gave me was real.
Hi, I will on Dec. 26 be one year since my period stopped. For a long time I had no desire to have sex. Lately I am so aroused. I have tried to master bate but I can’t have an orgasm. I get so frustrated I just stop. Last night I had an orgasm in my sleep. I don’t recall the dream, but there were men involved. I woke up still climaxing my clit was just pulsing away! I almost cried I was so happy. But the minute I touched myself it stopped. I had NEVER heard of this before. Thanks for the site. I know I’m not alone.
Clitoris orgasm during sleep without sexy dream? Really worried
DR. KATE, I have been married for 20 years, my wife and I are both 42 year old. In January 2014 we were packing up to move out of our house, we were sleeping on an air mattress and I heard my wife rubbing herself down there. Within the next two months her schedule has become very apparent to me. She is still masturbating 3 to 4 times a night on a two hour shedule and she is climaxing every time. If i say something while she is rubbing, she answers but does not continue to rub herself.
when I first noticed it I asked her about it she became very angry and denied it, and now (once in a short while) we just discuss it but she still denies it. She tells me it must be in her sleep. She either rubbs here breast to climax or her bottom to climax. Every time it has come up, she totally denies it.
After she climaxes, her breathing is very heavy, and her heart is bounding.
Ever since this has started, have gone through so many different emotions. I don’t believe there is any other problems in our marriage either sexual ly or emotionally. Please shed some light on this subject for me. I still hurt mostly because I don’t feel she is being honest.
Sincerely,
Billy
Update. I’m annoyed that my wife chose to “nap” today than be with me and BOB, battery operated boyfriend. Observed her having great big orgasms during her nap. So big they woke her up and she caught me watching. Now she pissed at me?? Really. She could have had time with me but spend them in never-never land with whom ever. Damn. And as far as my size. I’ve been working on it. Phallosan ladies. Gained almost an inch in seven months
I don’t know if I even had a wet dream but when I’m having sex in a dream and about to reach climax my goes numb everything goes black and that’s it no more dream like my body is telling me not to have an orgasim in my sleep I don’t know what to do it’s still confusing to me
I woke up this morning twice because I had 2 orgasms in my sleep.. I think it was 2 within 30 minutes.. This wasn’t the first time it happened but it’s the first time I actually understood what was going on. I am so glad this is normal and happens to many others. It’s a great feeling you don’t even have to be dreaming or thinking about sex or anything sexual. I am 21.
Wow I thought I was the only one .. I’ve never climaxed with a guy… Only by masterbation … And in my dream, I dreamt that I was having sex.. The guy pulled in and out about 5 times and right away I came, my clit was pulsating like never before .. I wish it was that simple to orgasm with a guy but nop, never has happened, and that’s cuz my boyfriend has a huge ding dong, even if I’m on top I won’t come.. .. How is it that in my dream as soon as they put it in it feels so good and right away I come not even 5 seconds later.. And in real life I can go at it all night and no climax for me 🙁
I am 26 and I have had 2 major orgasms in my sleep this year. I have an active sex life and I orgasm everytime I and my partner have sex because he is that good. But the orgasms I have in my sleep actually shake me up and my secretion is waaaay more when I go to wash up. I thank God I am not the only one going through this. It feels good tho.
Hi..
I am 21 years old and I recall in the past waking up to being incredibly aroused! Well The other Day I woke up Having an actual orgasm. Kinda Freaked me out but was pleasurable at the same time.
I am 52 years old and I’ve been starting to experience sleep orgasms. (I had to Google search to see if anyone else has been experiencing the same.) Second time this has happened. Like Tiarra, I also experience the sleep orgasms without dreaming about sex. Early morning, (approx 5:00) I woke up to my body climaxing my clitoris pulsating! As I am typing this, I feel pulsating. Life was good before this, and even better now!!! I hope there is so much more to cum! Pun intended 🙂
Watched my wife this morning next to me breathing heavy as she does when she’s excited and coming close to orgasm. It appeared she never woke up but at one point moved her hand to her crotch and very slightly massaged herself. She only did this for maybe ten seconds and them rolled over and snored a little. She denied doing this and was a little angry, I dont know why. my only worry is that I am not giving her the pleasure she needs. She is multiorgasmic with my tongue, toys, and penetration. I am on the small size but the head of my penis hits her g spot with every stroke. I hope I am not filling some need of hers to cause these sleep orgasms. She is beginning menopause and it is interesting that sleeping orgasms increase as she gets older. I wonder if this a natural reaction to mans increased chances of ED as he ages. Just doesn’t seem far to me, women have multiple orgasms and then can continue long after their man is limp or dead and buried. On the other hand I guess it makes up for all the premature ejaculations you put up with when we men were young, and don’t try to deny it guys.
I orgasm in my sleep without even dreaming about sex, I just wake up to my body climaxing my clitoris pulsating!!
What’s the youngest your supposed to have wet dreams as a girl because I have been having them for a long time n I’m 25 now but been having orgasms in my sleep since before I was supposed to I think. Am I weird? Should I talk to a doctor about this