Truthserum had some tough love for all the women with lazy lovers like the letter writer of “My Husband, a Selfish Lover, Won’t Even Try to Give Me an Orgasm.” (We edited down her response for clarity):
Lazy Lovers Should Be Left
I’m sorry, but a lot of you women on here sound really pathetic. I say this because you only get one life and your men are only doing things that you allow.
…Withholding sex is [stupid]. You all need to accept that once your partner stops caring about your pleasure and satisfaction, that’s also a sign about the level of care he has for you. [Your man is] running over your feelings and you’re staying with him, so why should he change? He knows you aren’t going anywhere. …He knows he doesn’t have to acknowledge [your emotions] because you aren’t willing to demand your own happiness or leave the toxic situation. And that is your own fault.
It’s About Self Worth
You’re going to keep being a pleasure hole for the rest of your marriage and you’re going to keep blogging like this for the rest of your life because you care more about your selfish husband than having a backbone. [Apparently, you cannot stand] to be without a man. [But] a husband does not guarantee happiness or life fulfillment. You all will resent your husbands over time, but more than that, you will resent yourself for being foolish and thinking maybe he will change. If he won’t even change for his wife, then that should be a clear sign the relationship is lost. Why should he make any effort when you don’t even love yourselves enough to ensure your own happiness and demand it and take the actions to secure that happiness?
It’s About Your Mental & Physical Health
I’ve never been without a man who couldn’t get me off or didn’t enjoy going down on a woman because I know how important sex is in a relationship. Your sex life is important for your health and some of you will probably die earlier in your life because of unhealthy sexual relationships. Think about the physical and emotional disappointment and how that can mess with your mind and health.
If your partner isn’t willing to get counseling, then he/she honestly has stopped working on the marriage. They know they have a problem and aren’t willing to get help.
It’s About Putting Your Foot Down
Lastly, I am being harsh on purpose. If you’re mad or angry, good. You should be. Get on with your life instead of wasting it… You are in control of your destiny and can manifest great things on your path, but it starts with you not being timid. Demand your happiness… Get out of your shitty situations instead of watching it fall apart. Trust me: you can find someone better.