The Married Person’s Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions
- Have sex with your partner more than you watch porn/read erotica on your own.
- Trim your toenails like you did when you were single before a date.
- Kiss your partner on the lips for at least 5 seconds every day.
- In the next 6 months, be sure to spend at least one night in a hotel together (even if it’s just at the Hampton Inn in the next town over).
- Make the weekly date night a sacrament.
- Give more back rubs without the expectation of reciprocal sex.
- Try to think of and share stories from your past that you’ve somehow never told each other before (a la “Before Midnight”).
- Exercise together (even if that just means going for a walk around the block while holding hands every now and then).
- Fart in front of each other less.
- Look each other in the eyes when you climax (at least occasionally).
MORE LIKE THIS FROM EMandLO.com:
- Top 10 Kinky New Year’s Resolutions
- Your Sex-Related New Year’s Resolutions
- A Refresher Course for Your New Year’s Kiss
I have no basis of knowledge because I’ve never been married, but I can’t imagine marriage is as horrible as these ten “resolutions” make it sound.