Wise Guys: Are Men Romantic Or Do They Just Fake It?

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Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Are most men romantics, or is romance something guys simply do to keep their partner happy?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): I think the majority of men are not inherently romantic. But, is it really that bad if they do it to keep their partner happy? If it’s sincere, then it shouldn’t matter if it’s a core characteristic or not. Now, those of us who are romantic are going to be way better at it than those who aren’t, because it’s part of our personality, but that only means it’s better for the woman we’re romancing. Don’t discount a guy just because he’s not a romantic at heart. He’s still doing it for you.

Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): I don’t think that most guys are romantics. It’s not that we don’t love our wife/girlfriend, it’s just something we don’t think about. I’ve always thought that things like flowers and jewelry are fluff. I think the best way to be romantic is to be a good partner, do the dishes, laundry, pick up after yourself, change the baby, take the kids out when she’s tired so can take a nap. Maybe one of the most romantic things you can do is take the kid(s) for the afternoon and get her a massage.

Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): Of course most men are romantic! What, using spit as lube isn’t romantic? Someone hasn’t seen Brokeback Mountain. Romance is, in its essence, excitement and mystery shown to someone you love. While most guys are apprehensive to be overtly romantic (my reason: usually out of fear of doing something wrong), if you look for the little moments of excitement and affection, you’ll see that guys are more romantic than you’d assume.


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Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Single Gay Guy is Abraham Zeus Zapata, an actor, writer and artist living in the Houston area; our Single Straight Guy is Scott Phrenetik, who moonlights as a DJ in Dallas; and our Married Straight Guy is Ben D., a former professional fighter who would now much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


  1. Isn’t doing things because you know your partner will love it and make them happy the definition of romance?

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