Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,“What is the appeal (or not) of a woman who’s completely bare down there?” Click here to ask the guys your own question.
Straight Married Guy (Mike): I grew up in a world of topshelf Playboy (and god forbid) Penthouse magazines. In Playboy, the bush was an airbrushed mask that softened the mystery of what was underneath — and it was a mystery. In Penthouse, more was revealed, but the bush was as celebrated as the afro. The bush itself was the object of fascination — and the subject of much full frontal nudity. Then, somewhere along the way — perhaps it was the Clinton years — the bush started to fade away. First a mohican strip, then a mere trail, followed by total eradication. The mystery, the magic of all that is female was lost for an entire generation. Too bad for them.
It’s kind of hard to take this hairless fad seriously — and that’s what it is — because it is born out of digital-age pornography, not natural lust. It’s made us into uniform skinned aliens. Human fuck-me dolls. It asks women to be forever girls and not women. Worse, it demands aesthetic perfection, which opens the door to surgery, bleaching and other madness. Bob Guccione, the world needs you.
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): I suppose the appeal is practical. I mean, how many times have you seen someone struggle to dislodge a pubic hair from his or her mouth or throat during the middle of sex? Things are going great and then suddenly Garfield is coughing up a hairball down below. Sort of a mood-breaker. But I have to say, as it goes for gay guys — and yes, many guys also trim to within an millimeter of their life down there — I find it can be a turn-off. The more manicured a man is, the less masculine he comes across. And for many gays, myself included, that’s a no-go. I suppose that doesn’t hold true for my straight brethren however.
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): The issue of hair down there seems to be generational and cultural. Just about every guy friend I have (we’re in our late twenties) agrees that completely shaved is the best bet. Comparisons are often made to shaved vulvas resembling adolescents, and understandably so, but I personally have never made that connection visually, physically or mentally. For me and my friends, is just looks and feels clean, smooth and feminine. It’s a cultural norm, as common as shaved legs and armpits. Underarm hair on women is generally thought to be displeasing, but in Europe it was considered sexy for years. If it were really an issue of pubic hair being natural, I would ask why women shave their legs and underarms here? Without getting too graphic, finding a hair in my salad at a restaurant is enough to ruin the entire meal. Make sense?
I keep reading how some women shave and feel ‘more sensitive.’ How is that possible? I have thick, dark, curly hair and keep it well-trimmed down there most of the time. When I get frustrated/humiliated enough to shave it all off, the place where my hair — USED to be feels dull and numb. The hairs are so thick and deep down there, stroking my pubes is actually MORE stimulating than being bald. Why do I shave my legs/underarms? So that people don’t look at me like I’m a freak, that’s why. Also, how many of you guys have ACTUALLY gotten pubes stuck in your teeth? I’ve gotten more turn-off rashes from beard stubble than any lover of mine has gotten one of my pubes in his mouth. Seriously, it’s a weak defense. And just means you’re a wussy.
If you can’t take the bush, get out from down under.
LMAO @ Tara… I love it!!
If I had the funds, I’d do a full wax every 3 weeks religiously (somehow, I had the funds for that when I was in high school, now at 23, I can barely eat).
I don’t know where the trend came from. I worked as a stripper for almost 5 yrs, and the preference was definitely bare or neatly trimmed… as long as it wasn’t hanging out of- or bunching up in- the g-string.
In my personal life, I have no idea what my bf prefers. We once went a few weeks without seeing each other, which meant less maintenance down there for me. Not surprisingly, he opened my pants and said, “What the F***?!?!” I just laughed and replied, “It’s been a while. At least you know I wasn’t doing someone else.”
On another occasion, I told him that I’d be witholding sex on our weekly visit as punishment and that to make sure sex wouldn’t happen, I wouldn’t shave. Alas, I still proceeded to trim the bush and neatly shave the edges, just in case. We ended up doing it and I got no complaints.
It’s all about personal preference, which for me is trimmed or bare. And honestly, I don’t want to ask what his preference is cuz then there’s the pressure to maintain what he likes. I’d rather do as I please.
And really, I get more of his hair in my mouth than he gets of mine. I’d appreciate a trim on his end.
I for one think the “demand” is mostly fabricated, it’s simply a personal choice for the women who do and do not shave. Of course, everybody will ahve a preference either way but to call it a demand is creating an argument where there isn’t one. I have been with both, and I can say that shaved tends to feel better because there’s more skin on skin contact during intercourse, but only marginally better. As for the “going down” argument, trimming is just as effective as shaving to avoid the tooth-picks. My current girlfriend trims and I enjoy giving her oral sex. But I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal: like virtually every other generational fashion in history.
I’m 46, happily married for 22 years, and sometime in my twenties I decided on my own to start trimming, first with barber scissors and more recently with a cute little Wahl battery powered clipper, but I have never once shaved and never will. I can’t imagine letting a razor blade come anywhere close to the netherlands, and I would be especially offended if a man expected me to be hairless. I can see and feel the benefits of trimming, in terms of increased tidiness and physical sensation, but it’s not necessary to be completely hairless to achieve that, and with trimming you get none of the bad after-effects of shaving.
I’m happy not to be part of the generation that has to confront this demand (supposedly) from so many men, but in any event I wouldn’t compromise on this issue for anyone. Worst case scenario, I could ease my short-term disappointment with my Hitachi Magic Wand, which is truly the reason that electricity was invented.
Shaving/waxing is a nice thing a woman can do for a man, but it shouldn’t be required. As people been said, it is a lot to ask.
Not only does it result in razor burn, but in some cases it is actually impossible to shave everything off. I have very thick, coarse hair, and little dark stubbles remain no matter what I do – razors just can’t shave close enough. I can’t afford regular waxing trips.
I hope the style doesn’t become the norm. Some of the comments seem to suggest that young people always shave everything off, but in my experience (I’m 20) it hasn’t reached that point yet. If it does, it will only contribute to self-image issues for those people who can’t easily go bare. Women really don’t need another reason to be self-conscious during sex!
If I shaved, it would be red, itchy, I’d be scared to cut myself, and it would be a pain to maintain. Not to mention the disgusting in-grown hairs that would probably occur. I get enough of that with my legs. I keep it trimmed, but thats all. I think it’s giving guys that “porn” feel. About 3 guys have seen me and never told me they don’t like it that way. I keep it tidy, I shave my bikini line and trim. I couldn’t imagine shaving everything, I feel it is unnecessary, and I feel end up looking worse. Guys don’t have to do anything, that area is just too much! I’d be in the shower for ages!
Personally, I feel weird if it’s all gone… I’ve never gone completely bare, but I’ve come close and I don’t really feel like a woman. Having just a bit of hair there makes me feel more like a woman! If a guy can’t handle that, too bad. What counts is that you’re happy with how you look!
For me, it’s a matter of smell and taste… as a consequence, I don’t mind the proverbial “landing strip” or triangle, but everything else below needs to be bare. Giving oral sex is one of my favorite things to do, and in my experience, with a woman who doesn’t shave, having to push the bushes out of the way, while inevitably spitting out the odd pube stuck in your mouth or throat is just plain nasty… not to mention, hair almost always picks up some residual odors that aren’t necessarily pleasant. As for my own southern region… I leave hair above but shave everthing south… for the simple reason is smooth skin on skin feels vastly better. I shave my face every day… I shave south every other day… takes me a minute… no big deal.
I wax everything. Then I bedazzle with swarovski crystals. Insert mint. (You’re welcome!)
This has all pretty much been said but I gotta throw in my two cents. I’m supposed to remove this hair through shaving or waxing (both very, VERY painful) for one night of sex, then indure two weeks of razor burn, ingrown hairs, and INSANE non-stop itching? Not to mention that almost immediately following hair removal is an unsightly stubble. Imagine licking another man’s five-o-clock shadow, except thicker. Sound appealing? I think it’s ridiculous that it’s a “cultural norm” to go through hell to meet a standard set by porn stars.
I can definitely understand the appeal, but I think it’s a lot to ask for to have girls shave it all. For me, my skin is ultra sensitive down there and it’s painful to shave it all. I hate feeling like I’m not living up to expectations, but the razor burn is really too much to take.
ok, although i do shave it all off, i don’t think men should EXPECT women to be completely bare down there. personally i can’t stand having hair that’s grown out more than two weeks i guess. it itches like CRAZY, when its accidentally pulled (like getting stuck on a pad or whatever) it HURTS. for me its just easier to deal with, and i can feel more down there when someone goes down on me too. So even though i’m all for shaving it all off, i don’t think hair looks bad at all, its natural and sexy. I would totally grow my bush out if it weren’t all of the things i listed above.
I kinda take issue with the whole ‘prepubescent’ argument because we’re (usually) talking about people who shave for the sexual benefits–which is pretty far from childhood. Also, I think shaving or not shaving because of what someone wants you to do is a bad idea; it’s your body, and you should do what you are comfortable with. I never thought I would start shaving, ever, until I realized that I could get more sensation out of things down there when I did–and it was more comfortable for me. Also, blaming porn for shaving seems a fallacy, because the interest had to be there to begin with or else it would have never become popular; pornography is a business, and if they notice more people are buying porn with the shaved men and women in them…well, that’s what they’re going to make more of in order to make more money.
I am a man and I like women to have a little something down there. To me it is more sexy if there is something well manicured than totally bare. Make me feel like I am with a woman. Just my opinion.
Instead of saying “people weren’t deciding not to shave because porn wasn’t abundant. ”
I should say that – porn didn’t make people start shaving because of some collective need to be more like pornstars, it just made them more aware of something they weren’t currently doing.