Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “What do blue-balls feel like… is it really that painful, or that big a deal? Is it even a real physical phenomenon?”
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): Blue balls are the testicular equivalent of a migraine headache. They are very real and can be very painful: pressure builds up due to sexual excitement from direct stimulation and has nowhere to go. Imagine having to sneeze, getting right to the second before and holding it for 15 minutes. Now, to be clear, I’m referring to situations where sexual activity has already begun (i.e. handjobs, oral, whatever) and then stopped in the middle for some reason. Mere kissing doesn’t cause blue balls, and those guys who claim otherwise are probably pigs. (To suggest a romantic situation that starts with kissing HAS to end with an orgasm is not only absurd, it’s borderline abusive.) But in those situations where physical contact with the johnson has been initiated by a second party and then arbitrarily withdrawn, it can be not only physically frustrating, but emotionally frustrating as well. It’s like, Why would she do that? Why??? My work ethic has always been to finish what I start, and I recommend this philosophy be applied to the bedroom as well. Of course, guys who find themselves in this situation have a very easy solution: masturbate! Much like Excedrin cures a headache, masturbation will cure blue balls. It’s really quite simple.
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): Truthfully, I had to look this up. Wikipedia claims it is “the condition of temporary fluid congestion in the testicles and prostrate region caused by prolonged sexual arousal in the human male.” I say no way. Total urban legend. “Prolonged sexual arousal?” What kind of oxymoron is that? I don’t know any guy who “prolongs” sexual arousal. Sexual arousal in men is like Superman: it’s up, up and away, end of story. Maybe it existed in the ’50s, when people would just “neck” for hours and it wouldn’t go anywhere. But those days are looooong gone. Hi Bristol Palin! And gay-wise? Uh, never an issue. However, if I’m wrong and there really is such a thing, I would sincerely hope they look like Smurf balls — because that would be kind of cool.
Straight Married Guy (Jim): What does it say about me that I’m not even sure I’ve ever really experienced blue balls? All I can say for sure is that not having orgasmic sex is the worst part of not having orgasmic sex. I’d prefer to think this is an evolutionary advance, rather than a carefully cultivated myth I’m ruining for half of everyone. Maybe someone who wasn’t effectively celibate in high school can explain if it’s only a problem with new balls.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Jim from New York, our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter, and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett, owner of the LA PR firm Barnett Ellman. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
wat the hell are these guys talking about u dnt get blue balls!! Well WTF do u call wen ur having a heaps heated makeout sesh and get a boner but the girl is not ready yet. You just roll with it puting the boner aside and still kissing. You leaveher place and you get large amounts of pain in the testicles and up into the stomach that makes you sick. No mid handjob, no mid BJ, just kissing!! Dnt tell me my pain is not real!!
Was making out with the lady on the weekend an got cut short due to a family emergency, and got a bad case of blu balls. Had them before so i know what to do, but this time was different.
I am 30 and I have not had sex yet! I have a problem though of being aroused so quickly by slightest touch not even close to the lower regions! A brush past by anyone wil cause an erection which for the last few months now is causing me BB quite regularly! It gets so bad sometimes that I can barely walk! Is there anything I can do about over active erections/arousals? I am getting to a point and excuse the pun that I am getting fed up with it and want to find medication to stop the erections and stuff! Does anybody know what I can do except masturbation?
I’ll be honest. This very second, I am experiencing ‘blue balls’.. as a sexually charged 20 yr. old gay guy, who didn’t “get off” like he wanted to.. I am suffering immensely. BLUE BALLS IS REAL. Boyfriend and I had an argument right in the middle of everything.. Long story short, I’m in pain. Groin area, down my thigh, up to my bellybutton. I almost feel nauseated.. Took an Advil, + “relieved” myself.. but still in pain! Good luck guys!
haha, watch this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7GbCrREOM4
I’m over 40 and lucky to say I’ve only experienced blue balls once.
I was dating this woman for a few weeks before finally getting in bed with her. I masturbated her to an orgasm and was expecting the same, but she was not into blow jobs or hand jobs. Thank you she said, I’m going to sleep. Now, when you are in a new relationship the arousal level is ten times what it is in a older relationship. I needed to explode; frustrated I left the room to go to the couch hoping that I could possibly get rid of this hard on; but it was too late, the pain had started, I did not feel aroused anymore, just a hard dick! I tried to jerk off but there was no point. I laid in the dark in pain for an hour or so till I fell asleep…. thinking next time I’ll make sure I come before she does.
Blue Balls is REAL! from my experience, you need to reach a certain level of arousal and maintain it there for a certain time before BB sets in. Having an erection is not enough to get BB, otherwise teens would have to masturbate every 15 minutes to not spend their time in pain.
It’s real! IT’S REAL! It happened to me last night! I had sex on the brain, and I popped a boner. My girl was asleep, I was tired, and for whatever reason, I decided not to get up and relieve myself in the next room.
I slept restlessly, waking up several times during the night, always with what must have been the same woody. My sex thoughts never abated, and I still didn’t take matters into my own hands.
By five in the morning I experienced a hint of the pain the guys here are talking about. Not full-on blow-to-the-nuts pain, like some guys are describing, but mild testicular pain. A dull, mild throb. If it had gotten too much worse, it would have counted as actual real pain.
I couldn’t believe it. I’ve always been a blue balls doubting Thomas. And while it wasn’t as bad as some guys get, my case convinced me that it’s a real phenomenon. I could imagine it being worse for some guys. Jeez. Learn something new every day.
Fuckin hell I’ve got blue balls
Oh, also, when I laid down in bed, I wrapped an ice-pack around my scrotum. I don’t know if it was that or the pain killers, but, I think it worked a little.
Blue balls are the worst pain I think a man can endure. Every once in a while I get it. When I was younger, I had two cases that were so bad that I was rushed to the emergency room because I thought it was torsion and I didn’t want to take a chance of losing a nut. At the time, I had no idea what blue balls was. I’ve had 4-5 extreme cases.
Tonight, I just really learned what was going on, reading online. I had an encounter earlier today with a gorgeous girl that lasted two hours. It was, more or less, sexual cuddling and I never finished. But I had an erection for almost two hours. After we stopped and she left, my sack started throbbing, and within a half hour, it amplified into the worst pain I have ever experienced. I was rolling around on the ground screaming for a half hour. My testicles were so sensitive that a feather rubbing them would have been excruciating. I puked out of shear pain for 20 minutes, rolled to the bath tub, and sat in cold water. It helped a little. There is no way I could have masturbated to rid this, I would have rather have died than even try. I took 1000mg ibuprofen and squirmed and moaned in bed for an hour until I fell asleep. I woke up not too long after, still sore but not in much pain. It’s been nine hours now and I am still very sore sitting here. Bottom line, blue balls are real and can be VERY painful.
^ Slightly more tolerable than a smack in the sack? Wow. That’s pretty bad. Personally I have never experienced blue balls. I guess it’s frustrating to get backed up, but it’s never actually hurt me.
I think blue balls are the male equivalent of PMS: it’s real, but often exaggerated and frequently used as an excuse to act like an asshole.
I am truly envious of anyone that has never had blue balls. Pain is a subjective matter, so attempting to scale the pain level seems pointless. Personally I find the pain to be only slightly more tolerable than being smacked in the sack. I have found that going a lengthy period of time without sex and then getting aroused without immediate release causes blue balls. As one that suffers from such an ailment, I can assure you that masturbating to ejaculation does help; however, the pain from the blue balls can be distracting.
Hello,this sight has been enlightening! Has anybody experience what I’m about to mention,any advice would be welcome! I am a 35yr old male and have a fairly low labido I masturbate roughly 3 times a week, I get deep pain in groin and lower abdominal area verterally all the time, I can not get any relief from this and get pain between my legs as well, I was diagnosed with M.E. Last year! PLease any advice would help! Thank you
Dear all of you men,
It’s cute how the occasional sexual experience for you which does not end in orgasm results in physical pain. Do you know how often women orgasm when they have sex with you? Hint: not as often as you think.
omg omg omg my balls feel like they are being squished in a vice that is being squished in another vice. THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER. This shit is REAL.
my gf was dry humping me and then we stopped before we could get all nude and shit. we went on a hike and halfway through my balls blew up in pain. we got back home and had sex to relieve the pain and it was great but i didnt orgasm but somehow there was cum or something everywhere and we were confused as BALLS. ive heard of ejaculating w/o orgasming, but does having blue balls make it more likely?